


What's Luck Got To Do With It

by hrelics9



Series: When It's All Over-College AU [1]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bottom Cloud Strife, Drinking, Dumb boys are dumb, Fluff, Frat Parties, Lacrosse player Zack Fair, M/M, Top Zack Fair, cute dumb boys, they are so dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:33:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25544440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hrelics9/pseuds/hrelics9
Summary: After a horrible car accident, Cloud has to start over his freshman year at University. He's not really looking for attention from a happy dudebro jock. He's just trying not to fall too far behind everyone else.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Series: When It's All Over-College AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896442
Comments: 38
Kudos: 406





	What's Luck Got To Do With It

**Author's Note:**

> OH MY GOD,  
> I'm sorry I get so distracted. Lol  
> Ummm, here's that College AU no-one asked for.  
> Also-I dunno how College is for everyone, but this is super heavily based on American state University. Hopes everyone gets that college-y feel a little bit!
> 
> Happy Reading!

He’s lucky. 

At least, that’s what he’s been told all summer long.

Lucky he has a surprisingly amazing knack for mechanics.

Lucky he got a glowing recommendation from two of his previous professors. 

Lucky that he only had a bashed-in head and a broken arm.

Came out of that coma just under a month later.

Lucky. 

Cloud’s not sure he sees it that way. 

Feels it’s the opposite. 

Bad luck even. 

Woke up with a head full of nothing for a whole year and a dead mother.

Spent another year just trying to remember what happened between high school and his freshman year at Nibelheim community college. 

It’s all still blank. Except for the accident. That came rushing back to him. A lot of blood and screaming and the too-loud metal crunch of his mom’s little sedan. He can still see the shard of glass stuck in her shoulder….

In her head. 

They said it was instant but...he heard her crying. When he was trying to work out the darkness and the shock of being rammed into by a massive pick-up doing 45 in a neighborhood. 

The Doctor said his memories would follow.

They didn’t and he’s lost his entire last teen year. 

And then another year to recovery. 

And his 21st playing catchup and he just accepted that he’ll never catch up.

He has to just….start over. 

With a shitty knee and random waves of headaches and days were he can’t focus on _anything._

But _sure._

He’s lucky. 

“Cloud, _Clo-ud._ Hello? You okay?”

Tifa’s deep eyes stare down at him, her dark hair illuminated and haloed with the hot high-noon sun. Concern darkens them and she kneels down in the truck bed.

“We can take a break, if you’re feeling tired.”

Always looking out for him. It’d been...annoying in the beginning, when he couldn’t even remember getting that close to her.

Apparently, they had ended up with a very similar schedule at Nibel community college. Just the basics and the one elective, early morning so they were finished by three. 

He’ll still have to take her word for it. It’s all just blank. They’d barely been friends in High School. Just...friendly, because they were neighbors. 

Now.

He’s not sure what he would have done without the LockHearts. He’s not annoyed with her considerate attitude anymore. Not after her dad took him in, after they helped him sort out his mother's death, and with his recovery. 

“I’m fine, sorry,”

He’d be lost without Tifa and her family. 

He shakes himself, tries to rid the ache in his chest. He tightens his grip on his bike’s handlebars. 

They have to finish pushing it up onto the truck bed before they can head on out to Midgar. 

“You sure you wanna lug this thing all the way to University?” 

He tries not to get mad. But she knows. He can’t ever just dump it.

It’s the last thing he has left of his mother.

It’s still a little run down, he hasn’t got the money to buy fancy new plating and glitzy fun detailing. But the motor is good, the brakes are new and it runs smooth and clean. 

“Yes.” He says, can’t _quite_ keep the clipping out of his voice.

Tifa sighs, too much sadness in her breath and it just makes him madder. 

Whatever.

He shoves up, gives one last push on the bike and Tifa reaches out and drags it up. They get it halfway up the ramp so he can walk behind it and shove the rest of the bike up and level on the truck bed. They stand in the last hot days of summer, panting and staring off to get back their lungs.

“Geez, kids,” Mr. Lockheart’s walking out of their front food, shielding his eyes with his hand, “Couldn’t just wait for some help from your old man?”

Tifa laughs breathlessly. 

“Sorry, Pop, gotta prove we can do everything ourselves,” she slips down the shitty wooden ramp they made and grins up at him, “Right, Cloud?”

If that’s not a dig at him….

He can’t really deny it either. He’s been...too stubborn. Even the last couple of months. He’s gotta work on that.

“Mm,” he’s not admitting to anything here. It’ll just get him in trouble. He jumps down, Tifa’s already taken the ramp away, and slams the truck bed close. 

“All packed?” Mr. Lockheart’s a lot closer now, voice lower and twinging on sad. 

It’s time for them to go. Everything’s packed and the drive is pretty long, they won’t get there till evening. 

_If_ they beat the traffic going into the city. Midgar is massive, nearly everyone in smaller surrounding towns works downtown. Cloud’s never been. His mom was pretty adamant about living a simpler life, out in the mountains and among the trees. 

Just another thing he’s leaving behind.

Mom probably would be disappointed in him. 

She hates Midgar. 

Cloud sighs. 

“Yeah,” he finally answers. He forgets sometimes, that he doesn’t voice his replies. 

Slow cognitive response. Doctors all say it’ll get better with time, but just something else Cloud thinks is slowly getting worse. 

Mr. Lockheart’s kind enough to ignore the long pauses he has in his speech, on his bad days. The spacey stare he gets on his good days. 

Seriously, ugh. Whatever. They have to _go_. 

Tifa’s skipping back out of the house, bag over her shoulder and skateboard under her armpit.

“Almost forgot my baby,” she grins at her dad.

He laughs and wraps her in a tight hug. His voice is a little watery when he says, “You could always just come back for it.”

“D-ad, then you won’t let me leave,” Tifa’s hugging him back just as tightly and shoving her face in his shoulder.

Cloud feels like he’s intruding. He always feels like he’s intruding. He turns to go jump in the driver’s seat before his embarrassment starts showing on his face. 

“Wait a minute, mister.” Mr. Lockheart doesn’t even give him a chance to sputter and sidestep outta reach.

He just grabs him and pulls him into a horrible group hug. It’s the worst. He’s hot and feels weird and they are going to be late. 

“Alright, alright. You kids scram,” he says to them, wiping at one of his eyes.

“We’re not kids,” Cloud says, too monotone cause now that it’s over….he kinda wants another hug. 

He’s not asking for one though. That’s just...way too embarrassing. 

“Hey there, Spiky,” Mr. Lockheart ruffles his hair, “you’re under 25, you’re a kid.”

Cloud snorts, “just to old people.”

Tifa laughs at her dad’s fake pout, slips her arms around his waist for one last quick hug.

“Text you when we get there?” She says, more than ask.

“Don’t run over any of Mrs. Formin’s cats on that turn outta town.”

Yeah…she really does have _way_ too many.

They jump up into the truck, Cloud’s still gotta pull himself in. Never really got that last growth spurt from his late teens like the other boys in town did. He likes to blame the accident for that one too.

But...his mom was super short, barely coming up to his eye level. 

It’s even hotter in the front cabin of the truck, old leather burning under his bare knees. Tifa shifts uncomfortably in her mini skirt and crop top. Reaches for the air conditioning the moment he turns the key. 

It takes not even ten minutes to get out onto the highway leading west. They both stare at Mrs. Formin’s cats climbing all over her house. Cloud swears there are five new ones just today. Tifa laughs, stares at the houses getting smaller in the side mirror.

“Sad?” Cloud asks. Tifa’s a country girl, she’ll always be in love with the fields and the farms. 

His chest twinges. He feels bad...she’d only transferred because Cloud was too chicken-shit to go alone. She’ll never tell him but he knows. He’d flat out refused a full ride at ShinRa University, just cause he’s too scared to leave Nibelheim. 

Tifa had screamed at him until the sun went down. He didn’t talk to her that whole weekend. Just hid up in his room and blasted music in his ears until he couldn’t see his blurry phone screen anymore. 

A week later he got an acceptance letter telling him when to arrive on campus and where to sign up for courses.

“A little,” Tifa says, tucks her hair behind her ears and rolls down the window to see the forest-covered mountains fly by better. 

He waits too long, again. Feels like he has to say it though.

“I’m sorry, I-”

"Woah, hey there. I don’t wanna hear that,” she pokes him in his bicep, “It’ll be good for me too. And honestly, I went to ShinRa University on that college tour we had our senior year. I loved it, it’s a beautiful campus.”

“Why didn’t you go?” He asks.

She’s shrugging back into the puffy seating, slips her red boots off, and pulls a leg up, “too scared I think.”

His chest hollows out. Like him? 

“And now?”

She rests her chin on her knee, smiles at him with a soft look in her eyes. Her hair keeps slipping into her face from the wind.

“Now, I got a little brother to drag with me.”

He snorts, feels his face heat, “I’m older than you.”

“By _two_ months.”

She reaches for the radio, connects her phone with Bluetooth and starts blasting twangy old country songs. 

***

He’d worked everything out okay, mostly cause he didn’t actually have to go to the administrative building (where ever the fuck that was) and just registered online. Lined up all his classes within an hour and started looking for used versions of recommended textbooks. No way is he wasting his mother’s money on stupid college texts he’ll never really use anyway. 

He gives up after fifteen minutes. He’ll just use the library. He doesn’t want to lug around an extra seven pounds in his backpack anyway. 

They’d been at ShinRa University for two days now and Cloud still hasn’t wandered outside. 

They drove straight to Jessie’s apartment on the south side of campus and unpacked all of Cloud’s things, dragged his bike down and Tifa drove around back to park the truck in the few parking spots for the apartment buildings. 

Jessie moved out to Midgar the second she was old enough to work. She hated Nibelheim, too quiet. Too-

“Country boy,” Jessie pokes her head into his room, _without_ knocking, “you gonna just hide away in here the whole year?”

Cloud rolls his eyes, “I’ve only been here two days.”

“Yeah and moped in here the whole time. The campus is _huge_ , you should at least walk it once.”

Cloud pulls his knees up more, pushes back against his pillows on his bed, and curls down into his laptop. 

“I’m good.”

“O-aky, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

She eyes him with large judgmental eyes as she slowly backs out and closes the door.

Cloud forgot how weird Jessie is. 

At least her roommates, Biggs and Wedge seem more….chill. A little heavy-handed on the dudebro side, but they’re nice enough. They brought him pizza yesterday, just showed up with a whole extra one for him. 

“Cause bro,” Wedge had said, “pizza’s a college right, especially in this household.”

He’s still eaten half of it in his room. Just another thing he forgot. How much he hates being social.

He likes people, he’s just...so bad at it. He’s gotten spoiled with Tifa. 

Cloud dinks around on his laptop for another hour before his boredom is too much and he slips out of his room. Jessie and Biggs are lounging in the tiny living room while Wedge is already cooking up dinner. 

Looks like a long process, it’s only one, but he’s got the kitchen all messy and the apartment smelling really good.

“Hey, Cloud,” Wedge grins at him, “sticking around for my awesome spaghetti sauce tonight?”

“It is pretty awesome,” Biggs says, he’s got his face deep in a textbook. 

“You’re studying already?” Cloud hovers in the entranceway. He feels imposing if he goes and sits in the living room and Wedge doesn’t need him crowding up the kitchen. 

“Tch, yeah,” Biggs says around a pen in his mouth, “the easy years are over. I got assigned way too many essays this summer.”

Right. 

Biggs is starting his junior year. Actually, they all are. Tifa too. Where Cloud _should_ be. 

But he’s not.

Almost twenty-two and he’s a fucking freshman. 

His mood sours and his head pulses. He feels the ache coming on in the back of his eyes. He barely keeps his annoyed sigh to himself. Ducks his head and goes for the front door.

“Hey, you leavin’?” Jessie calls after him. 

He doesn’t answer, already out in the dim hallway. It’s an open layout apartment building, so the hot air is thick and makes his head pulse some more. He walks the whole two doors over and knocks on the peeling door. 

The little apartment number 1 is off, Cloud thinks it’s mocking him.

A small pretty girl with sandy hair and green eyes peers around the door, looking up at him a wide expression.

“Yes?” She sounds suspicious. Tucks her body into the tiny crack she’s opened the door to. 

He guesses it’s weird, a random guy knocking at her door in the middle of the day. 

“Uh-is Tifa in?” he asks. 

Her face snaps into recognition, he can practically see the little light bulb turn on over her head.

“O-h, you must be Cloud,” Says it like it’s a big secret.

“Yeah….” he just wants to talk to Tifa for a little bit. Get grounded. 

The girl giggles at him, actually _at_ him and he has no idea why.

“She didn’t say you were _so_ cute,”

He flushes. He’s not _cute._ He’s a fucking mess. 

The girl laughs again, bright and friendly, “come on then, get in here,” she opens the door wider and steps back, “I’’m Aerith. Tifa’s one and _only_ roommate.”

Kay, that’s a weird way to say it, but whatever. 

He steps in and his body immediately relaxes in the air-conditioned room. It’s the same layout as Jessi-uh, his place. Tiny little entrance way right into the living room and open kitchen. One long hallway to the right, probably with only two bedrooms instead of three and one bathroom. 

Jessie was nice enough to give him the room in the back, right next to the smaller second bathroom in their place. That way he can just hide out in the back corner of the apartment. 

He can tell, his three new roomies are party people. 

“Ti-fa, there’s a cute boy here to see y-ou,” Aerith sing-songs as she closes the door. Steps around Cloud with a bounce and just...stares at him. 

He’s terrible with new people. Luckily Tifa’s not busy, coming out of her room before Aerith can finish her sentence.

“Cute boy? I don’t know anyone here-oh, Cloud. It’s just you.”

Yep. Just him.

“You okay?” she asks cautiously.

No. Not really.

“Yeah,” he says instead.

Tifa frowns and waves at him to follow her.

Aerith smiles widely at him as he passes her. Too widely. 

Tifa makes sure to close her door quietly, already guessing he’s on the verge of a migraine. Her room looks...oddly like her own back in Nibelheim. All soft colors and little sparkly lights. Clearly decorating was a priority for her. Even most of her stuff is unpacked.

Cloud just yanked out his headphones and his laptop and tossed his favorite pillow on the small bed. All his boxes are still stacked in the corner. He didn’t even unpack his clothes yet. 

“Feeling off?” She asks, sitting down on her bed and scouting back to the wall. She kicks her legs at him, “come on, let’s watch some really terrible b-horror movie.”

They do this whenever Cloud feels too stuck in his head and his past. When he doesn’t remember what day it is and who he knows. Something about the terrible effects and the stupid acting clears away his brain fog.

He heels off his sneakers and slips down next to her. She scouts closer and wraps her arms under his own close to her. Rest her head on his shoulder and they both slouch down against the wall. 

She’s already got her tv set up across the room, hooked up to her desktop, and all ready for games and movie nights. 

Seriously, Cloud’s barely even gotten ready for his classes. He feels strangely competitive about this now.

“Oh stop it, I can hear you thinking.”

“Sorry,” he slouches down more, but Tifa’s cuddled up next to him, so it just jostles her.

She pats his arm and taps at her phone until a list of shitty horror films pops up on her tv.

“Okay, ready to laugh at how terrible these are?” She picks the second one, some alien-rip off. It looks especially bad. 

“Yep,” He lies.

They always get super sacred no matter how bad they are. It’s their little secret. They tell no one.

Ever. 

***

Jessie was totally right. He’s fucking _lost_ . He’s got beginning in computer sciences and mathematics in the morning, intro to mechanical (he doesn’t need it, he can take apart his bike and put it back together perfectly with his eyes closed) after lunch and then, fucking, he can’t believe it, he has to take _English_ courses still.

_Still._

There better not be a creative writing section in it or he is going to scream. 

The science buildings are in the north part of campus and the engineering building is just adjacent to them. 

All he knows is his apartment is in the southern section and that Aerith (Tifa’s become fast friends with her, it’s kind of annoying.) works in the little cafe just down the street, near the liberal arts building. 

None of this is helpful. 

He’s so not saying anything to Jessie. She’s just as likely to tease him as much as Tifa. Probably more.

There’s sort of a park area in the middle of campus. It’s a large squared-off section with stretches of grass and a tiny little strip of forest. Has nearly a spot for every sport ShinRa University supports, a football field, a basketball court, even looks like a shared spot for soccer and lacrosse. 

Cloud frowns, he should skip out before any jocks come around. They tend to be too loud, in his experience. He doesn’t care how nice they are. Loud voices for too long easily kick start his headaches. 

And right now he doesn’t need that cause he’s already giving himself one. 

At least he knows he’s in the middle of campus. So...north should just be north...except, he’s already gone that direction and he can not find the stupid science buildings. It’s just ridiculous and embarrassing. He’s from the middle of nowhere, he’s great at directions. 

There’s just...a lot of activity. Spins his head a little too much. He sighs, might as well try the other way one more time. Spins on his heel and promptly runs smack into a hard body. 

“Whoa-easy short-stuff,” Yeah...sounds like a dudebro. Awesome. Doesn’t sound mad, not a jerk then?

He’s tall and summer sun-kissed, Cloud zeros in on his tan line peeking out under his muscle tee. He’s built like a jock too, buffed out arms with broad shoulders, and a trim narrow waist wrapped in a navy hoodie.(Fucking kidding, no and no. Hot jocks are the worst. He needs to stop it right now.)

He’s grinning at him with a wicked smile and sparkly sky eyes, making his hair contrast darkly. 

“S-sorry,” he says, can’t stop the snip in his voice. He’s going to be so _late_. The first day too. 

The guy’s smile turns blindingly happy, oh-fucking-god. Cloud is going downhill fast.

“Oh, I know that tone. You lost freshman?” 

How’d he know he’s a freshman, besides the whole looking lost thing. 

He should just lie and move his ass. The guy’s stupidly-attractive face is way too hard to look away from and Cloud is just really, really starting to hate how dumb he is. 

Right... he’s supposed to answer people when they ask him things.

“Uh..kinda.” No, he’s not supposed to admit it. Just, leave, go the other way.

Dudebro laughs. Dammit...it’s warm and easy, pleasant low tones and good-spirited. 

“Where ya headed, uh-”

“-It’s Cloud…”

“-Cloud. Got a few minutes left before you’re late? I can show you the way?” He’s leaning in and cooing at him.

What the fuck. Cloud hunches down with his shoulders, he’s way too close to him. 

“‘M lookin’ for the science building-002,” he mutters and averts his gaze to the guy’s shoes. They are caked with mud and have a small tear in the fabric near the rounded out front. 

“Damn, all the way over there huh? Well come on,” he pats Cloud’s shoulder and waves at him to follow.

Cloud can feel his flush, his shoulder is extra warm from the guy’s touch. He never gets that, how some people are so comfortable touching strangers. 

He follows him down a few weird turns and then around a confusing one way, blocked street. Down another set of stairs and then, there it is as if it was just waiting for Cloud to become un-dumb. 

Smart.

Smarter.

Oh fucking, he needs a nap. Already.

Maybe...maybe he’s not ready for college yet. Still needs to heal more. It certainly feels like it. He stares up at the science building blankly.

“Don’t you have to get to class?” Not-mean jock guy says. Oh right...shit. He’ll barely make it.

Probably not any good seats left either.

“Uh thanks...um-”

“-Zack,-”

“-Zack…”

He kinda stares at him a bit longer. Watches as Zack’s smile gets bigger and he huffs a laugh at him. Raises his eyebrows as if to say ‘you got somewhere to be?’

Shit.

“T-thanks,” he already said that. This is just the _worst._ He ducks his head and rushes across the crosswalk.

“See ya around, Cloud,” Zack calls after him. 

Yeah, not likely. That was so embarrassing and just reinforces his very desperate need to not socialize ever again. 

He does make it, just as the professor is clearing her throat and starting the introduction. 

Lucky him, there’s a seat still open in the back he sneaks too and just...smacks his head down and tries to breathe right again. At least his mathematics class is in the building right across. 

He gets there way before the lecture starts. Sits somewhere in the middle so he’ll be a mass in the sea of faces. He hates mathematics. It’s harder for him to focus on, too many numbers altogether. Irritates his...coma leftovers. 

The teacher is fucking terrifying. Weirdly hushed and cold expression. Contrasts with his ethereal features and his apparent hidden temper.

He chucked no less than seven pens at people, all in the first thirty minutes. Dead on aim too. All with a set face and a slow blink.

Terrifying. 

***

He forgot. 

He fucking forgot how to get to the science building. It’s only been the first two weeks. He’s been going there every other day. How can that just slip from his brain and leave him totally lost? 

It’s embarrassing. It’s been long enough for people to be familiar with him, but not know him.

He doesn’t want to become the weird country kid who spaces out and can’t remember shit.

He’s tired of being that person. 

It’s the first day that is sort of chilly outside, the day staying in lower temperatures and the morning starting out overcast. He’s been so focused on not being weird that he forgot his jacket. Or even a hoodie.

Maybe cause he also _still_ has not unpacked his clothes and has just taken to digging through sleep-blurry in the morning. 

Yesterday he’d put his shirt on inside out and no one told him and he didn’t notice until he got home. 

….Mm….he may be the weird kid already.

Cloud huffs to himself. He can do this, he didn’t forget. It’s in his brain somewhere. Just getting mixed up with all his non-memory coma memories. He lingers on the brick path, getting shivers on his arms. The temperature is dropping. Just as he realizes, a drop of rain falls on his arm.

And then another. 

And then the sky just opens up and pours. 

Of course. 

Too bad it doesn’t jog his memory. 

Feels final too, like maybe he should just give the fuck up and go home. Work some sad painfully irritating minimum wage job for the rest of his life. Or just be a semi-talented mechanic in Nibelheim, stay in the little mountain town until he’s old.

Mom would like that. She’d be disappointed, him coming to the city. 

Oh no.

He shouldn’t have gone down that train of thought. His vision blurs and his chest hurts. 

He’s just tired and having a bad regression day. That’s it...he doesn’t...miss his mom like she died yesterday. 

At least it’s raining out, harder to tell that he can’t keep his tears in. 

“Hey-Cloud, hey man you decided now’s a good time for a sho-” A warm hand touches his shoulder, pulls him back a step and forces his head up without meaning too,

Zack.

See him around. Great...

“-Woah, _hey._ It’s okay,” His handsome face melts into concern and he bends his knees a bit, leans in to try and catch Cloud’s gaze, “what happened?”

Why does he care? He’s just some random person he helped to class. Cloud doesn’t get it. If he saw someone he didn’t know crying he’d book it the other way. He wishes Zack would. He hates people seeing him cry. Makes it all that more embarrassing that he can’t control himself. 

“Nothing,” good, he’s not stuttering, “I’m f-fine,” Damnit. 

“Okay, uh, clearly you’re not. Come on, how bout you skip class. It’s fine, most teachers are pretty chill about it as long as you’re there the next time.”

Zack’s chattering away at him, slipping his backpack from his shoulder and tugging at his arm. Why? Why is he helping him? 

“Mmm,” Cloud can’t really interrupt him and he doesn’t want to say anything, he can feel his throat drying out. Doesn’t want it to crack if he speaks. 

“Where’s your place, short-stuff?”Zack asks him.

Cloud manages a glare. Not too fogged into his misery then. Zack laughs gently, squeezes his arm. He’s still looking for an answer. 

“South campus, by the liberal arts building.” His voice didn’t crack, no stutter. It makes him feel a little better. Helps him gain some control. 

“Okay, good. Not too many places, I got some friends who live over there.”

Cloud lets Zack drag him just a few steps behind him. He’s got long, long legs with a matching long stride. 

The rain only gets worse. It hits him that Zack's getting soaked too, helping Cloud.

He shouldn’t even need help, but he’s just fallen right into his bad day and now he can barely remember how to get to his apartment. 

It’s just luck that Jessie’s hustling down the sidewalk; spots them and rushes over, nice and dry and warm under an umbrella. 

“Oh geez, what are you doing out here in the rain?” She’s half yelling before she makes it to them.

“I-uhh-”

“-Helping this guy-” Zack says at the same time Cloud speaks up. He looks at Cloud in surprise.

“You know Jessie?” Zack asks him.

Cloud nods. For some reason, seeing Jessie rush up to them, all worried in her honey eyes clears his mind a bit. Familiarity. The doctors said it would help with his bad days. If he was around something he knew.

“He’s our new roomie,” Jessie flashes a comfortable smile at Zack. Guess that means they know each other pretty well, “hey-are you crying?”

Ouch, Jes. That’s embarrassing. Zack even winces and tries to subtly shake his head at her. 

Cloud sees it anyway. Fitting, they both aren’t very subtle. Of course, they’d be friends. 

“You got your key?” She ignores Zack and asks him.

Yeah of course, he’s not totally a lost cause. 

Not yet anyway. 

He nods. Jessie gives him a small smile and pats his cheek. That might be even more embarrassing. 

Zack takes him back the rest of the way. Climbing the steps behind him. Cloud can feel his hands lingering at his back. Lingers close to him as he unlocks the door with shaky hands, dripping water everywhere. 

“Uh. thanks…” Cloud mutters in the doorway. He can’t look up into Zack’s pretty face. He’s too embarrassed. He should really get over this stupid crush now, no way would Zack even think he’s attractive, after all this. 

“Um,” Zack clears his throat a little, “I know it doesn’t really help that much, but don't stress. Things will get better. New places are always a change, takes a while to get used to.”

He’s right, it doesn’t really help. Cloud’s stress isn’t really cause he’s in a new place. It’s cause his stupid damaged brain can’t comprehend the most random things. Zack’s stare is heavy on him, pulls his eyes up as he shields himself with the door. 

They stare at each other for a while. Zack is soaked, his hair is longer then Cloud remembers. It must have been pulled back before. It’s all loose and sticking to his neck now, extra dark with the weight of water and in the low lighting of their overhang. Cloud can’t place what’s in Zack’s eyes.

It makes his heart settle down just a tad. 

His face breaks into a soft one-sided smile and upturned brows, knitted with concern. 

Chases Cloud’s gaze back to the floor and he closes the door slowly, with a soft click, and lingers in the entranceway until he hears Zack’s heavy steps walk away. 

He spends the whole day facing his unpacked boxes, curled up on his bed. Some time, way later he’s guessing, Tifa slips into his room and sits against his back, scratching at his scalp gently and stays with him for a while. 

***

After his whole, second-week meltdown, Cloud has a new determination to just be _fine._

He’s got to move on some time and he’s already here, in Midgar, at one of the best Universities in the city. 

Lucky. That’s what everyone back home told him. He’s lucky to get a full ride, lucky to have support. He shouldn’t spoil it. His mom would hate that even more than him moving out to the big city. 

It goes...well. He doesn’t forget where the science building is again and everything on campus becomes less ‘how do I get there’ and more familiar. 

His fucking mathematics professor is still terrifying. He refuses to tell them what his last name is, just insists that they call him Professor and only Professor. With that icy glare he gives them, no one dares even ask the question again. 

He hasn’t seen Zack for three weeks. He’s...oddly bothered. 

‘See’ his brain tells him, ‘chased him away’. It bothers him for a few more days and he finds himself seeing his pretty sky eyes at night, rolling around in his head as he falls asleep. 

When the cold has finally decided to stay throughout the shorter and shorter days and Cloud finally unpacked all his clothes (no, they are not just piled in a chair instead), he walks in after his stressful English class to Zack sitting on his couch.

Eating Jessie’s ice cream. 

Her movie crying ice cream. 

“Jessie’s going to kill you if she catches you eating her ice cream.” He says, pulling his sneakers off at the heel with his fingers. 

Zack jumps, swallows his spoon full, and laughs softly.

“Cloud, hey man. You scared me.”

“I scared _you_ …” he stares at Zack for a second, before shifting his backpack and stepping out of the tiny entranceway, “what are you doing in here?”

Zack tilts his head at him, raises his brows, and widens his eyes, not unlike a confused dog. 

It’s not cute. It’s _not._

“Well, I was supposed to go to the soccer fields with Wedge and Biggs, get in some practice before the season starts,” he nods at the door.

A lacrosse stick is resting against the wall, all clean and newly netted. 

“Lacrosse?” Cloud didn’t know ShinRa had a lacrosse team. Their football team draws crowds, has for years. 

They’ve beaten Wutai in championships nearly six years in a row now. Even all the way out in Nibelheim, college football rules the sports scene. 

“Mm, yeah, University is finally funding us this year, but, only a few other schools in the area play. So we just have a bunch of games and whoever wins the most is the champion for that year.”

Zack shrugs, stands, and puts Jessie’s ice cream away.

Normally, Cloud would just call it the end of that conversation but...Zack’s so….

He doesn’t know. Well...he _knows_ , but besides the good looks and his long legs and muscled arms and - _okay._ Anyway. 

There’s just something that pulls Cloud to him. 

“Who’s the champion from last year?” he asked it way too late. Zack lights up like a Christmas tree anyway. 

Okay, _really_ into lacrosse then. 

“Oh man, we were so close last year. Midgar community college beat us out by two games. Two, man!” he throws his hands up like it’s the most unfair, ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.

Cloud laughs, quietly and under his breath. 

“You let a community college beat you?” he teases him.

Surprises himself, more than Zack's widened eyes are. Usually takes him months before he’s comfortable teasing someone new. Maybe it’s cause he’s finally started thinking of this apartment as his and as home. Easier to be relaxed when he feels safe and comfortable. 

“Hey, there’s not that many Universities playing lacrosse. Can’t be picky.”

Cloud snorts and drops his backpack on one of the kitchen bar stools. If Zack’s going to keep drawing him in, he’s not going to keep his all his school shit hanging off him. 

Zack’s still beaming at him, leaning on the counter and practically wagging his invisible tail. It’s a lot of attention on him, Cloud feels his face heat and he slips up onto another barstool, stares at Zack’s hands instead of his face.

“Biggs and Wedge are on the team?”

“Biggs is, Wedge was when we were freshmen, but, he’s not as serious about it.”

“Mm.” Cloud’s still not good at this. Even when he wants to talk. 

A comfortable silence floats around them. Cloud watches Zack tap his fingers on the counter, extra energy. Not uncomfortableness. 

“You getting used to the campus?” Zack asks him.

No more freakouts, he wants to know. Cloud sombers a little.

“Yeah,” he says, more chipped than he meant. 

The air changes. Isn’t completely ruined, but only cause Jessie comes busting through the door.

“Oh my fucking god, guess fucking what?” she’s got her arms spread wide and her eyes are a little crazed. 

Zack takes the option, otherwise, he’s left with Cloud sulking.

No one wants that. 

“What, finally got that guy in Econ to give up his ‘hot bod’? ”

She deflates and waltzes into the living room, “n-o, but thanks for reminding me. He’s so hot you guys,” collapse dramatically on the couch, “the perfect abs, I know he’s got them. If only he’d show me.”

Zack laughs at her, straightens from the counter, and crashes down next to Jessie on the couch.

Cloud takes that as his dismissal. He’s not friends with Zack. He barely would call himself friends with Jessie. He grabs his backpack and slips quietly into his room. Jessie’s voice carring in the small apartment.

“No, no, Fair, you don’t understand. It’s not just some frat party. It’s THE frat party, Halloween baby-you have no choice, we’re all go-”

He closes his door. Stands in the middle of his room breathing deep. 

Gives in to his twinge of loneliness and slips his phone out of his pocket.

He texts Tifa for the rest of the night. Until she takes longer to respond and then he just crashes.

***

After that, Zack’s around all the time. 

Like…. _all_ the time. 

So much he’s not even surprised to see him in the morning, first thing when he wakes up and wanders out to the kitchen for coffee.

In his boxers.

The first time he had jumped and blushed so much he was sure it went all the way to his chest. 

He’s used to it now.

The second week of October and the rain is non stop now. The sky is a constant grey, day and night. He’s stayed up way too late trying to finish an essay for this stupid English class. Skipped dinner too. He yawns and stretches in his chair. He can’t ignore his growling stomach anymore. 

Pads out quietly in his bare feet, it’s still in the apartment. But, Cloud’s not sure if it’s cause everyone is asleep or Jessie and the guys are out. It’s Friday and Jessie is more of a party girl than Cloud thought. It’s finally deep enough into the school year that everyone is getting comfortable with each other, all the new kids finally knowing the school better. Perfect time for party season to start. 

Zack’s on their couch. It’s not surprising, but, usually, he doesn’t stick around too long if no one is home. 

He’s completely out. Arm hanging off the edge and neck bent back over the arm. He’s too tall, his feet barely tucked in on the other arm. 

Cloud snorts, grabs the throw blanket Jessie pulled out the first day it rained, and quietly drapes it over Zack. It only covers his torso and the top of his hips. Cloud snorts again.

Whatever, it’s better than nothing. The chill has set in. They don’t turn the heat on, save on some cash. Wedge likes it cold and Jessie likes blankets and sweaters. Cloud thinks Biggs hates it, but puts up with it for Jessie. 

Cloud definitely hates it, he’s freezing. The cold is different here. It lingers, never really gets crisp enough to clear out his lungs like the mountain air. Just kinda...hangs around with the fog and the constant misty rain. 

It’s only ten, so he makes some coffee to keep him up and to warm him. Looks into the fridge and finds the top shelf has some leftovers on it. 

Wedge keeps a very strict fridge system. Top shelf is up for grabs to anyone. Whoever gets it first, that’s the deal. The middle shelf is split for everyone, things they all use like butter and milk and eggs. The bottom is for labeled food. Cloud forgot to write his name on his leftover Thai food once and Wedge threw it out before it went bad. Just said it was in the wrong spot. 

Rude. He hasn’t forgotten since though. That Thai food was fucking good. 

He heats up the leftover lasagna, probably Jessie’s. She opts out for Italian every time. While he waits, a warm weight falls over his shoulders. 

“Oh god, are you heating up food?” Zack’s voice is heavy with sleep and really close in his ear.

He’s gotten even more touchy, even though Cloud doesn’t linger to hang out with anyone. 

Zack always tries to get him to though. At least...it feels that way. Says hi to him first before everyone else, asks him to eat with them, to go out with them. Watch whatever movie they have on. 

Cloud’s too nervous to actually agree to any of it.

He does say hi back every time though. Progress. A sad one. Tifa would tease him way too much if she found out. 

The microwave beeps and Cloud shrugs Zack off of him. Takes out the plate and puts it on the counter. Grabs two forks out of the far drawer and holds one out to Zack.

It’s way too much food, he can share. 

Zack gets his puppy look, bright eyes and all vibrate-y. 

They stand against the counter and pick at the lasagna in silence. Cloud eyes the coffee maker taking it’s time rather than staring at Zack’s strong jaw and long dark lashes. 

“Staying up doing classwork?” Zack asks after a few bites.

“Mm.” he really wants that coffee. 

He thinks he hears Zack huff in frustration. 

“Whose class is it for?”

His stupid English class. The guy teaching it won’t let anyone call him anything but his first name. Genesis. He’s arrogant and his lectures are way too long. Goes off on tangents and Cloud’s already shit at English. 

The coffee maker beeps, sweet. 

Cloud sets his fork down and grabs a mug from the right cabinet. Poors a full cup. Normally he’d want his normal cream and sugar, but he’s really looking for a shock to wake him up. 

When he turns back around, Zack’s frowning at him and crossing his arms.

“Look,” he says, tone more serious than Cloud’s ever heard, “I’d just give up at this point, but I just gotta know. What’s your deal, man?”

Huh? His deal? Cloud feels his face flush, he’s getting flustered. He doesn’t know why Zack’s suddenly annoyed at him. 

“My...deal?”

Zack’s face falls into a ‘are kidding me’ expression. Huffs out a breath, tiredly. 

“Yeah, do you not like me? You just gotta tell me so I leave you alone.”

Not like him…

Cloud really does fall into his blush. Of course. Tifa’s always telling him to pay attention a bit more. He was standoffish before but now...after his coma. With his too late responses and sometimes altogether just flat out forgets to respond. 

Zack’s standing in the dark, staring at him with an open face and eyes that are so bright blue they almost seem like they are glowing. He looks...hurt. Not mad, just frustrated and hurt. 

“I...no. I...like you.” He mutters. He likes him a lot. Way too much. 

“You don’t sound so sure about that,” Zack laughs a little. He looks less hurt. So, he believes him a little.

Cloud doesn’t like this. Zack’s put him in a corner. Either lie or tell him why he’s so bad at being social. It’s not Zack’s fault though. Who goes around thinking, oh, that guy is shy and awkward, must be because he was in a coma for a month and has trauma from a car accident. 

He sighs. Zack’s not an asshole. Even though Cloud doesn’t linger around with them, he can see. Zack’s really sweet. Kind and easy. 

It’s not like Cloud doesn’t want to be friends with him. 

“Sorry. I...I have problems,” Cloud finally says. No going back now. 

“Problems?” Zack asks. 

Cloud nods, “yeah. I was...I was in an accident, a few years ago. Cognitive response damage, mostly in the area for speech, but...too many numbers and dense reading gives me headaches. It’s hard to focus on them.”

He shrugs, turns away from Zack. He doesn’t really want to see his face, “It’s not too bad. I’m pretty lucky the damage was so minimal. But...sometimes I -I don’t realize I haven’t responded.”

It’s embarrassing. Telling Zack, even though he likes him. Wants to be friends, wants to be even more. (not that that will ever happen)

He doesn’t really want to admit that he was in a coma or that the accident killed his mom. Or that his right knee aches when it’s too cold for too long. Oh and he can’t remember a whole fucking year of his life. All of that feels too personal still. 

It’s really quiet. Cloud bites his lip...did...did he leave? 

“Damnit.” Zack whispers into the still darkness, “I...shit. I’m sorry, Cloud. I didn’t mean to-” he goes quiet.

His sincerity makes Cloud turn back to him. His eyes glint too glossy at him. His frown full of regret. 

“Tifa...she says I was hard to talk to before. Probably is extra difficult now,” He admits. 

He’s not expecting Zack to step close to him and pull him against his body. Cloud has to hunch a little to protect his coffee from spilling. It’s a quick embrace, just a tiny pressure, and Zack’s pulling back. Looks at him with...determination? 

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed,” He tells him. Cloud smiles softly at him.

“It’s okay. Pretty weird to think someone’s got brain damage instead of just dislike.”

Zack laughs for him. Cups the back of his head in a gentle pat. 

“You gonna go back to that English essay?”

He doesn’t want to. Blinks at Zack a few times.

Right-

“Don’t really feel like it,” he says. 

Zack’s eyes go all soft. Tifa looks at him like that when he’s having a hard day. Cloud feels his face heat again. That’s way too many times in the last twenty minutes. 

Zack hums, “wanna watch a movie instead?”

“Sure.” 

Zack falls asleep thirty minutes in but…

Something feels different. A click into place after being so close to fitting for a while. Settles something in Cloud’s stomach he didn’t even realize was at unease. He watches the whole movie, just a stupid comedy that’s not that funny. 

Puts that throw blanket back around Zack before he pours out the last of his coffee and goes back into his room to work on his essay. He doesn’t want to do it on the weekend.

Feeling better and calmer than he has in a while. He finishes it within the hour. Crashes just as it’s almost two in the morning. 

***

He’s attached to Zack’s hip after _that._ Or more Zack is attached to his. 

He’s not really sure, but it’s suddenly like they’ve been best friends their whole lives. 

Cloud will take it. 

Even if his dreams of Zack’s bright eyes have started turning to some pretty hot and heavy action. Zack starts showing up in the morning to walk with Cloud around campus. He’s got a few psyche classes in the science building near the engineering one, so they stop for coffee and drag their tired bodies to the north end. 

Usually, they end up getting lunch together and then take their free periods for studying. Cloud doesn’t get how Zack’s got so much time, he’s a junior, he should be swimming in work just like the rest of their friends.

Cloud hasn’t seen Tifa all week. It’s super weird. 

It’s also Friday again, a whole week since Zack needled out Cloud’s ‘secret’. He’s got more patience with him, waits until Cloud realizes he needs to answer him. Or gives him a gentle nudge, tap, hums at him. If he really zones out, he’ll call his name quietly, low and close. 

It gives Cloud goosebumps. It shouldn’t, Zack’s just a good person. Understanding, it doesn’t mean anything that he’s so gentle with Cloud. He really wants to believe it does though. 

His English class ends his Friday with a horrible future. Genesis informed them that next week they will be starting the horrors of old English scripts and playwrights. Great, he’d have enough on Macbeth in high school, doesn’t really want to waste his time in college on it either. 

He slips his books into his bag, makes sure he doesn’t bang his laptop on the way down the steps and files out with the rest of his class, nearly all of them sharing the same look of ‘ugh why’ on their face. Solidarity, there’s nothing like it when the whole class is in on it. 

He sees Zack’s tall figure through shoulders and slowly moving heads. He’s got a good eye, spots Cloud weaving through the crowd instantly. His whole body uncurls from the wall, eyes brightening, and smile growing. 

“Hey, thought I’d wait for you,”

Cloud smirks, “for two hours?”

Zack laughs, reaches out and ruffles his hair, “just the one,” he jokes, “I had to speak to one of the professors. Jessie texted me, so thought I could bother you to walk me to your place.”

It’s almost torture. All the flirty smiles Zack sends his way. He’s never met anyone who’s first instinct is to flirt their way through life. 

He’s not falling for it, sees Zack turn the charm on all the time, for everyone. Just who he is. 

Sweet and flirty. Cloud wishes he was mean and flirty, it would be easier to get over this dumb crush. 

He snorts at himself, _crush._ He’s fucking twenty-two (almost, he’s almost twenty-two). Shouldn’t be having a kiddy-crush on anyone. 

A cold chill floods into the hallway as they leave the liberal arts building. Colder than it’s been and the early afternoon is already darker than the day before. 

Cloud shivers, he’d forgone a jacket again. Mostly cause he doesn’t want to lug it around with him; all the buildings are blasting heat and it gets way too hot during class. A soft, dark fabric smacks him in the chest before they are even two steps out the door. He catches it before it falls to the damp ground.

“Wha-” It’s Zack’s hoodie. The dark navy one with worn tufts at the end of the sleeves. He wears it all the time and when he doesn’t it’s looped around his waist or in his backpack. Just holding it, smells like Zack and his cologne. Warm, a little husky, and something else Cloud can’t place. Makes him think of summer nights. 

“Just put it on, I can _see_ you shivering,” Zack’s not looking at him. Cloud thinks he sees the faintest of red on his tanned cheeks. 

Zack’s already wearing a jacket, so Cloud doesn’t feel too bad. Slips it on over his head and re-shoulders his backpack. 

It’s _huge_ . A little oversized on Zack, Cloud is swimming in it. Even with his toned-up arms, the little amount of bulk he’s managed to put back on since his coma. The hoodie floods his sense’s with just _Zack._

This is not boding well for him. 

The walk back to his place is short so the chill doesn’t settle into their skin. Zack’s hoodie is really warm. 

The apartment is chaotic when they walk in. Jessie’s got music blasting and she’s hovering around the living room shoving cheesy, ‘creepy’ Halloween decorations in every corner.

Cloud resists his sigh. He hates Halloween. It’s so stupid. 

“Ta-da,” Jessie sings at them, wiggles her fingers in admiration, “it’s spoopy season.”

Spoppy? Yeah, he’s just going to….go over to Tifa’s. 

Except, the traitor, she’s coming out of Jessie’s room with a box full of _more_ Halloween stuff. 

“O-h, good. Zack here,” Tifa holds up a long string of silly bats with googly eyes on them, “you’re tall. Can you hang this for us?”

Zack’s already toeing off his shoes and reaching out to help. 

N-o, everyone, _everyone_ in his life likes Halloween?

He does sigh now. Slips his own sneakers into the shoe corner and puts his backpack on one of the bar stools. Even with irritation itching at his back, he doesn’t really want to be alone.

For once. He pulls out his laptop and scoots around to the other side of the bar counter. Pretends to start progress on his essays and his mathematics sheets. Really, he’s just trying to keep himself from openly staring at Zack. He’s too soft and distracting, hovering around the girls and helping them reach high places. Laughing with them and teasing them. 

Cloud usually falls victim to jealousy. Jealous of people who so easily get along with everyone. 

Doesn’t get it with Zack….maybe cause he always tries to include Cloud.

His heart thumps hard, Zack’s shooting him a sly, warm smile. Lingers his gaze with Clouds, like he’s in on the teasing joke he just told Jessie. Cloud has no idea what Zack said, just is blinded by his happy eyes and knowing smile. 

He doesn’t get a head start on his work either. 

Zack manages to pull him from his hideaway corner in the kitchen and makes him help put up all the stupid decorations. He brushes up against Cloud every time they are in the same spot on the wall.

When they cross paths going to and from Jessie and her directions. 

Even when it gets dark out and later in the evening. They all crash on the couch and ignore their school work. Opting out for take-out and the latest horror film to come out for Halloween.

And even then, Zack’s pressing all along his side, squished against him with the four of them sitting on the tiny couch. 

For the whole movie.

***

It’s driving him insane. He didn’t realize just _how_ tactile Zack is. All week he touches his shoulder, ruffles his hair. Walks so close, Cloud bumps into him when he makes an abrupt turn. 

Nearly tripped over him when Zack dropped him off at his morning classes. Took him halfway into the lecture to calm the heat in his face.

He gets a text just after he does so.

Tifa: _Heads up, looks like Jessie’s having a party night._

Right. Tifa had warned him, Jessie liked to host a lot of parties. He thought maybe Tifa was exaggerating, it’s nearly two months into the school year and his place has been quiet every night. Well, except for Zack coming over. 

Cloud: _?? How do you know?_

She should be in class.

Tifa: _Saw a bunch of cases of beer outside your door when I left._

Great. Maybe it’s just a small party and he can hide in his room. 

Turns out, after he finishes up his classes and walks back to his place alone, he can’t.

It’s not huge, their place won’t really hold more than twenty-ish people, but it’s way too loud.

Kicks up a headache that is barreling toward a migraine and he can’t focus on any of the words in front of him anymore. He groans and presses his fingers into his eyes, trying to rid the ache before it gets worse. 

He stares at his phone for too long. Huffs at himself again and opens a new message thread to Zack.

Cloud: _Hey_

They don’t text really. Even though Zack snagged his phone and put his number in the morning after Cloud had told him about his accident. He’s with Zack so much now, doesn’t really need to text him. 

Cloud falls back onto his pillows, lets his phone rest on his chest, and tries to drown out the muffled noise outside his room. He doesn’t even get out another sigh before his phone buzzes on his chest.

Zack: _!!_

Cloud guesses that it's supposed to be his eyes lighting up in excitement. It’s what he pictures in his head anyway.

Zack: _Hey, What’s going on?_

Cloud: _It’s loud here…_

If he just vents a tiny bit, relieve some of his anxiety he can head off the aching in the back of his neck. 

Zack: _??_

Cloud: _Jessie’s having a party._

Zack: _Oh, can’t study?_

No, he can’t even think properly. He doesn’t even know what to say now. Other than no. His phone buzzes at him again.

Zack: _Come out to the campus park._

The campus park?

Oh, in the center of campus, where all the sports fields are. 

Zack must be at lacrosse practice.

Cloud: _Lacrosse?_

Zack: _Yeah, just about to start. Probably can’t study out here, but, it’s less loud._

Biggs had been oddly absent from the craziness happening outside his door.

It’s better than sitting around on his bed waiting for his headache to get worse. 

Cloud grabs his laptop anyway, tosses it into an extra pack he has, and slips around all the drunken loud people to the front door. Jessie spots him on his way out and waves, an apologetic grimace on her face.

His phone buzzes just as the door closes behind him.

Jessie: _Sorry, I forgot, you don’t like parties. I should have warned you._

Cloud: _It’s okay._

Jessie: _I’ll make it up to you! :)_

He snorts and heads down the steps with a quick spring in his walk. Keeps it up the whole way, he can see his breath in small little puffs. 

It’s mainly soccer fields and a tennis court, in the campus ‘park’. All looped in on a cracked path that lines the squared out area. It dips into the forest along the far side and comes back around near the road leading back out toward the north and east ends of the school. 

A group of guys are huddled on the far-field, shoved the soccer goals out on each end of the neatly kept grass. Dampness on the ground wets his socks through his ripped up old sneakers. Makes the chilly air more prominent around his ankles. He walks even faster. 

He can make out Biggs first, he’s more separate from the group, adjusting the bulky shoulder pads typical lacrosse players use. Zack must be somewhere in the center of that huddle, he doesn’t see him. Nearly half the guys must be as tall as him. 

Not that it matters, Zack knows he’s coming and he’s always finding Cloud without him realizing.

“Cloud!” See, almost immediately. He’s barely even made it to the sad-looking metal bleachers. 

Zack looks...different, in his lacrosse uniform. The shoulder pads just make his shoulders wider and his hips narrower. His dark hair is messily tied back, more than his normal strains of hair falling into his face. Somehow pulls the lines of his high cheekbones and upturned eyes. Looks more...wolfish and sharp. 

It’s not hotter. 

Cloud’s not completely unbalanced by it. He knows what Zack is saying to him.

Totally. 

“Huh-uh.” He mutters back.

Zack laughs, “You didn’t hear what I said at all did you?”

“Mmmm?” 

“Fair! Let’s go, some of us have classes tomorrow.”

Zack pats his shoulder, guides him to the first bench on the bleachers, and sits him down by his stuff. 

“Just a short practice today, hope you’re not too bored.” His touch lingers against Cloud’s neck, his gaze too; stares down at him. He looks good, against the darkened sky, and all flushed from warming up already. 

Biggs leans into his view, “Sorry Jessie kinda kicked you out. Apparently all of us forgot to text you.”

“Mmm.” It’s hard to keep his eyes off Zack. He’s grabbed his lacrosse stick and smacked one of his teammates on the shoulder with it. Telling him to get a move on. 

Biggs chuckles at him, “Hoo-boy,” 

Cloud doesn’t even notice when he runs on the field to join his teammates. 

It’s a terrible hour of getting re-distracted every time Zack’s shouting over everyone else, or yanks off his helmet. Or just….runs by to close. Halfway through, the chill finally is too much for Cloud and he unconsciously reaches for Zack’s beaten up navy hoodie. 

He let him wear it before. Just till their practice is done. Slips it on over his head and it swallows him. Somehow, it’s still a bit warm from Zack wearing it. 

He doesn’t know lacrosse that well, just the bare basics to understand when someone is holding or shouldn’t be body checking. When a penalty happens and when a play isn’t followed through too well. 

Cloud never really had time for sports. Always putting his head in engines and taking things apart when he shouldn’t have been. He spent half of high school fixing his mom’s old truck when it broke down. 

Watching Zack toss the ball around and roughly push around his teammates is...making him more willing to learn about lacrosse. 

He feels his face heat in the cold, he’s embarrassing himself just sitting here. He should really take out his laptop and try to do some homework. Now that the school year is really taking off, all his teachers feel completely justified over assigning them work. 

He’s just about to when Zack is jogging back over to him and the rest of the guys are dispersing. It’s been an hour already? Cloud realizes too late that he’s all hunched down, hood up, and shivering in Zack’s hoodie. 

Zack notices it immediately.

“Cold?” He’s certainly not. Sweat dripping down his temple and dampening the edges of his hair on his neck. 

“Sorry,” Cloud moves to yank off the hoodie.

Zack just laughs at him, breathlessly from practice, “It’s fine. Come on, wanna head back to my place? I bet that party is still raging at yours.”

Cloud bets it is too. He shrugs, suddenly way nervous. He’s never been to Zack’s place. He stands and takes Zack’s school bag without asking. He’s already carrying all his lacrosse gear, helmet tucked on the end of his lacrosse stick, and slings it over his shoulders. 

A few of Zack’s teammates call after him, makes Zack laugh and linger behind. Cloud’s still dazed and distracted, walking just ahead of Zack and doesn’t catch anything except for the heavy steps of Zack running to catch up to him.

“Woah, hold up there short stuff, you know the way?” 

Cloud shoves at Zack with his elbow, he hates people pointing out his height. He knows, kay.

They walk in silence along the badly lit sidewalks, the night calm and the campus pretty empty. Only the occasional groups of drunk shouting when they pass a rowdy house party. A few late-night students leaving the library and heading home. 

Zack takes him around the Fraternity neighborhoods, just past ShinRa University’s administrative building and down a very quiet, clean neighborhood. It’s mostly houses for rent and residents of the campus area. On the very corner, a small four-story building. Zack punches in a code and they take the small elevator on the tiny lobby floor. All the way up to the top. 

They’re not quite lofts, but the apartments mimic the feel, open and exposed, bigger than studios. Zack kicks open his door and flips the light switch on; drops his lacrosse equipment right in the corner of the entranceway. 

Zack’s place is...really nice. For a college student. It’s newish, has a small fancy kitchen tucked away in the corner and the open floor plan shows off the brick accent walls and the exposed iron staircase going up to the loft section. 

“Woah.” Cloud says. Zack’s taking his bag back from Cloud and smirks tiredly at him. 

“Yeah, yeah I know. It’s not mine. Just a buddy is putting me up till I finish my degree.”

That’s generous. Not that Cloud is really paying for his rent. Tifa’s dad had been stubborn about helping them at least afford a nice place to sleep and study in. Cloud still pays for half the rent, with his mom’s inheritance. It’s not massive, but enough for him to live off of for a long while. If he’s careful. 

“You live alone?” Cloud asks, follows him when Zack waves. 

“Ye-p,”

He wonders why Jessie and the others never come over to Zack’s. It’s much nicer than their dull, tiny apartment. He’s guessing Zack’s ‘buddy’ owns all the furniture and the entertainment set up. It’s way too nice for a student to afford. 

Maybe that’s why. Zack doesn’t want to mess up anything in the place. 

“Make yourself at home,” Zack says, starts shedding his clothes as he heads for the small bathroom tucked under the spiral staircase. 

Cloud flushes, averts his gaze, and then just stands there. Listens to the water turn on and tries not to think about Zack in the shower. He slips his sneakers off and puts them back by the door, next to Zack’s lacrosse stick. Sets his bag down there too.

There’s no way he can ‘make himself at home’. Everything is too clean and nice and Cloud hasn’t really been somewhere this...city-esque. 

He feels his nervous bubble up again. Slips his phone out of his pocket and texts Tifa.

Cloud: _Help, Zack’s apartment is too nice._

She's texting back before Cloud can even minimize her thread.

Tifa: _OMG, you’re at Zack’s apartment??_

Why is that so exciting?

Tifa: _Did you guys kiss??!_

Tifa: _Did you guys fuck???!!_

_What._

Again, with the blushing. He should probably try and get that under control along with...everything else. 

Cloud: _No-why would you even think that?_

He gets her photo popping up and the little green phone wiggling at him. He sighs.

“What.”

“Cloud, are you kidding me,” Tifa says in his ear. She’s trying to hold in her laugh, he can hear it in her voice. A tiny wobble. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, even though he knows. 

He can’t believe he’s that obvious. 

But why would she think anything happened. Zack doesn’t...he wouldn’t like him...back.

Ugh.

“Oh stop it, you are not this dumb.”

Ow. He hears Aerith in the background ask who Tifa is calling dumb.

“Nothing happened, nothing is going to happen,” he hisses into the phone, eyeing the bathroom. 

Like Zack can really hear him under that shower spray.

Nope-no, not thinking about Zack in the shower. That’s the first plan. 

“Why no-t,” Tifa whines at him, “you like him, he likes you.”

“He does not.”

“Cloud...you listen to me. You, are terrible about picking up on social cues.”

Yeah okay, he is. But...he would notice if someone was _flirting_ with him. 

He sighs, turns around when the water clicks off, “Tifa-”

“-No, no. Listen. That boy likes you. _A lot._ ” 

“Ti-fa,”

“Cloud, if you don’t kiss him-”

Zack’s calling for him, coming out of the bathroom with a stupid towel around his waist. Unfair, just, super unfair.

“-I gotta go-” He hangs up on Tifa.

Ignores the sudden explosion of buzzing when he puts his phone back in his pocket. 

“Everything okay?” Zack’s laughing at him, “you can sit you know.”

“Uh.”

Get’s eye-rolled at. Zack’s stopped close, searching for something in Cloud’s face. 

“Come on,” he says after a while, tugs gently on the hair strains by his jaw. 

He follows Zack up the staircase and very much does not look up. Stays a good few steps behind him. 

The loft section is just as nice. Just a massive bed with too many pillows piled against the headboard. Pressed against that accent brick wall. A large lounge chair in the corner and a few nightstands. There’s a wooden and paper screen splitting the open area, Zack disappears behind it and pulls on some clothes. Must have a dresser behind it too. 

He’s barely clothed, just loose sweats on. He’s toweling off his damp hair.

“Wanna stay the night? I’d say we can study, but I’m beat.”

Huh-uh. 

Somehow he ends up curled on one side of Zack’s bed, trying to fall asleep as Zack snores at his back. 

Eventually, he falls asleep with Tifa’s voice in his head. 

Zack doesn’t...he’s just touchy with everyone. 

He’s not flirting with him. 

He’s not. 

***

After a week of successfully avoiding Tifa’s insistent questions about Zack, Jessie bursts open his door. She’s dressed in a tiny costume, her hair up in high pigtails, and dyed two separate colors. 

“It’s finally here,” she says, puts her fists on her hips and smirks at him, “the party of the year, the last good one before midterms smacks us in the face.”

He’s not sure where she’s been, but that’s already been happening. Cloud can’t count the number of times his teachers have warned them that midterms are coming up the first Monday of November. 

“Jessie-not now, I have to finish this be-”

“-Oh no. You, little pretty eyes, are going to one party this year and it’s gonna be this one.”

No, he’s really not. He glares at her over his book, pulls his knees up, and flips the massive hood up on Zack’s hoodie.

He may have...stolen it the other day. Not on purpose, Zack had tossed it at him again and told him off for forgetting his own. It was freezing, Cloud wasn’t going to object. He forgot to give it back this morning and then he just...wore it all day. 

It’s super warm and so what if he can still smell Zack’s cologne on it. 

“Chop chop, party is in an hour,”

“I’m not going.”

“Yes, you a-re,” she sing-songs. 

He sighs, “It’s Halloween.”

“So, costumes are not required.”

She gets a glare and silence. Maybe she’ll go away if he just pretends he’s having an off day. 

“Zack’s going.”

His heart thumps, “So what.”

“What, you guys are like glued at the hip. He stayed over talking to you until one in the morning, on a _school night_ ,”

Cloud flushes. Zack’s always doing that. He did that with Biggs and Wedge on Monday. 

“So,” He can’t believe Jessie is doing this too. He already misses Tifa, but he can’t really take all the embarrassment. If he hears how dumb he is one more time, he’s just getting on his bike and going back to Nibelheim. 

“Cloud. You’re wearing his hoodie.”

“It’s just a hoodie,” he mumbles into the fabric. Maybe if he hides she’ll leave him alone. 

The air changes. Jessie comes and stands at the edge of his bed.

“No, it’s not. That’s his lucky hoodie.”

Okay, that still means nothing to Cloud.

“Cloud, one time I moved it out of the way, like two inches and he flipped on me.”

She’s lying. Cloud can’t see Zack flipping out on anyone. Especially not over a hoodie. 

“Mm, sure,” he says flatly. 

“Oh, come on. You hardly hang out with us. Just one party. Just for one hour, if you really hate it you can leave.”

She’s giving him the biggest sad eyes, all shimmery and honey brown. Her bottom lip pokes out in a pout and she raises her whole body up. He can hear the onslaught of ‘ple-ase, please, _please_ ’.

He doesn’t know why she wants him to go so badly. Wait...cause he doesn’t hang out with them? 

Damn, he’s caving. Tifa always said he was a shitty friend. He’s just not used to having so many. 

Normally it’s just Tifa. 

“Ug, fine. _One_ hour,”

Jessie’s pout breaks out into a joyous smile. She hops a bit in place and claps her hands together.

“Yes, okay cool. I’m gonna go get Aerith and Tifa. Be ready in ten minutes,” she’s already twirling out the door.

“You said an hour,” he calls after her.

Biggs pokes his head in, he’s got a _way_ too tight delivery guy uniform costume on, “she lied. We’re going now.”

Oh my god, he’s already real done with this. 

Tifa and Aerith are waiting for them down at the bottom of the steps to their building. Annoying, both are dressed up as well. At least it’s not as cheesy as Biggs’s or Wedge’s quickly put together chef’s costume. 

“O-oo, scary. Aerith I didn’t know you could do FX makeup,” Jessie says, she pokes at one of the fake rotting wounds on Tifa’s cheek, “man, I would have been a zombie with you guys.”

Aerith beams at her, “really, it’s scary? I don’t do it too often, but Tifa really wanted to turn on the gore.”

“Can just we go,” Cloud snips. He digs his hands into Zack’s hoodie pocket and hunches down into his shoulders.

“And, what are you going as?” Aerith leans in and looks up at him. It’s unsettling, with one of her eyes gouged out and dripping fake blood, “A moody teen?”

“Ugh, Whatever.” he rolls his eyes and just starts walking away from the building

“Oh-perfect impression!” Aerith laughs, skips after him with their group in tow.

Jessie directs him to the north side of campus and Cloud recognizes the area quickly, turning down fraternity row. 

Zack’s place is just a few streets over.

They go to the largest frat house on the corner. It’s completely over-hauled into a haunted nightmare. Cloud’s actually kind of impressed. Must have taken a few days to set up the entrance and put all the lights and cob-webs everywhere. 

There’s loads of people already. Drinking out on the grass, hovering around the doorway. It just gets more crowded as they get inside the house. People pressed up against each other and groups melding into other groups. 

It’s loud.

Very loud. A combination of spooky sounds and pulsing music and drunk people shouting, laughing.

Cloud hates it. 

Just an hour. He can do it. One hour. 

At least, he’s not the only one in normal clothes. About half the guests are dressed up. Makes him feel less self-conscious. 

He can’t hear his friends, but he feels Tifa linger close, so Aerith must be right next to her. When he glances back, the blacklights are lighting up their clothes and their make up in neon brights but he can still tell it is them. 

His roommates have completely disappeared. 

He walks the frat house once, doesn’t bother going upstairs. People are standing on nearly every step, falling all over the place. 

This party must have been going on for a while already. Everyone is super drunk. 

Lucky him, his second pass around on the large first floor, he spots Zack coming out of the living room.

He feels kinda smug, that Zack’s not dressed up either.

“Zack!” he calls over the noise, all the smoke from the fog machines is itching his throat. His raspiness is rougher than normal.

He steps around people and calls at Zack again, sees him turn his head and look right at him. Cloud can’t help it, he smiles at him. Zack’s just able to kick away any of his cagey attitude. Just with a look.

He’s expecting his blinding smile back but instead, Zack’s face scrunches down into a stern frown. He slips past people, coming at Cloud rather fast and aggressive.

“Cloud,” he grabs Cloud’s bicep, pulls him into a slightly less busy corner, “What are you doing here?”

What….

It throws him off. Zack’s never...he’s never seen Zack like this. His relief and ecstaticness of finding Zack leaves him immediately. 

Zack doesn’t want him here. Why?

“Uh,” he says, flustered and he can feel his irritation quickly rising, “Jessie invited me.”

Zack seems shocked at that, he grips Cloud’s arm tighter. It hurts a bit, “ _Jessie_ invited you. She should know better, after last year.”

What the hell. Okay, whatever that means. Cloud clicks his tongue and huffs at Zack. Yanks his arm out of his grip and stalks around him. 

Zack follows him, “Cloud, I’m serious, you can’t be here.”

What. The. Fuck. 

He’s just mad now. What Zack doesn’t wanna be around Cloud cause….

Maybe. Cloud’s been bothering him. They’ve been hanging out almost every day for nearly a month and a half now.

Has Cloud been pushing himself on Zack? Cause his crush.

Tifa’s words echo in his head.

He’s bad at social cues. 

Fucking. 

_Fuck_. 

He feels a flush of embarrassment. Not his shy, awkward kind. Real, chest clench embarrassment that will flow back to him every time he thinks about this for the next five years. 

Of course... _of course_ , he’s just been bothering Zack. Everyone’s been teasing him, about his apparently _obvious_ crush on him.

Zack’s just too sweet to turn him down. 

Why’s he following him then? Cloud will just stay out of his way. He pushes past people, goes right for the drink table in the living room.

He needs some alcohol, chase off his stupidity. 

He doesn’t bother mixing a drink, just pours a shot of vodka and downs it.

“Cloud, what the- _stop_ ,” Zack’s grabbing at his arm as he goes to refill.

“Fuck off, Zack,” Cloud snaps, yanks out of his grasp again. Shit, he’s just so embarrassed and irritated.

His head pulses and the room is suddenly too small. Zack’s looking at him like he shot him. That’s not fair. He can’t do that, he can’t care about him when he….

It’s getting a little harder to breathe. Stale, fake foggy air. He needs to get outside.

He rushes around Zack, again, and darts back out onto the front lawn.

There’s a lot of people staring at him. 

Annoyingly Zack followed him out. 

“Cloud,” he’s grabbing at him again. Seriously, doesn’t he get the picture?

“Let go,” Cloud’s doing what he wants, okay, he’s just leaving. 

“Hey, chill,” oh he hates when people tell him to _chill_ , “I’m tryin’ to look out for you.”

Looking out for him? How, what, with what. Oh, is he fucking kidding. Zack’s throwing that in his face. After he trusted him...his fucked up brain. He thinks he can’t handle a stupid frat party. 

Tifa’s wrong. Zack doesn’t like him, Zack will never like him.

“You can’t be here, freshman aren’t allowed.”

Wait, freshman, who cares?

“So what,” Cloud doesn’t know why he’s still fighting Zack on this.

He just...he knows okay. He knows he’s not the best with people and social things and being a fun person.

Still, stings, when people don’t want him around. 

“So what? You’re _underage_ , you can’t _be_ at a frat party. The University can get into serious trouble.”

He’s not 18, he’s not even twenty. 

“I’m twenty-one,” He nearly shouts at Zack, “I’m gonna be twenty-two in a month.”

So what, Zack’s just using this as a cop-out? He knows he looks really young still, but come on. It’s not that hard. All his friends are twenty-two or older. 

Zack looks thrown, drops his grip on Cloud, and gapes at him like a fish.

“Y-you’re twenty-one…”

“ _Yeah,_ ” 

“But. You’re a freshman.’

Oh for, “Yeah cause I had to start over-” he stops. He’s not...he can’t tell Zack this. 

“Start over?” Zack says it like it’s so stupid. Like who would choose to do that. 

It makes him mad all over again. 

“Yeah, _Zack._ I had to start over,-” he can’t stop it, he’s just really done and has way too many emotions stuck in his stomach, “-casue I was fucking braindead for a month and can’t remember my first shitty round.”

Zack is just...staring at him.

Like everyone on the front lawn. 

It all just leaves him. He feels drained and still embarrassed and, yeah, his eyes are a little too wet. 

Awesome. 

Cloud’s done. He’s just going back to his place. Hideaway in his room like he should have just done since day one. 

He gets halfway down the block when Zack’s strong steps are rushing after him. Cloud doesn’t really wanna keep doing this. He just wants to be alone. 

“Cloud,” Zack calls, too closely and Cloud’s being grabbed again, spun around and Zack’s pulling him to his chest.

Cloud’s heavy breathing slows and gets deeper. What…

Zack’s arms embrace him tightly, holding him hard against him and Zack’s shoving his face down into Cloud’s hair. His breath tickling the top of his ear.

“I’m sorry, shit, _I’m sorry_ , Cloud.” 

It’s twice now. That Zack’s just...assumed something.

Reasonably though. Like the first time. Who goes around thinking someone’s been in a coma and lost a year of their life.

So really...this is all on him. Cloud’s just proving to himself he’s still terrible at communicating. 

Zack still could have just asked, instead of just straight-up jumping to conclusions. 

Cloud deflates in his arms, weakly wraps his own up Zack’s back. 

They just stand there, in the dark and the chill. 

“...are you wearing my hoodie?” Zack asks, pulling back and sliding his arms around to Cloud’s arms.

He doesn’t know why that’s funny. Maybe cause Jessie and gone all ‘dead parents’ serious about him wearing it. 

He laughs, a little too wet and hysterical. 

“Yeah, you want it back?” He manages through his chuckles.

Zack’s staring at him softly, some of his own embarrassment in his eyes and a tender smile on his lips. It melts into something more...decided. 

“Come on, let’s bail.” 

Zack grabs at his forearm and pulls him along. A few streets over and down, towards his apartment. 

The second time being here, Cloud thinks it looks different. It’s not as perfect looking. It’s all the same stuff, the same dark couch, the same large tv and overstuffed chairs. It all just looks, just a tad more used and older. Not so new and ‘don’t touch anything.’

Zack’s quiet with more timid movements then Cloud’s ever seen. Zips his boots off and wanders straight into the kitchen. Cloud does the same, tucks his sneakers into the corner by the door, and slides into one of Zack’s high bar stools under the kitchen’s island. 

He feels winded and raw. He hates fighting, usually cause it only happens when he’s been dumb.

In this case, he’s been extra dumb.

“Zack,” He’s bad at this too.

“Mm?”

“I-sorry…” He winces at himself afterward.

Zack’s curious brow flattens back out with his small smile. He finishes taking a pot and frying pan from his top shelves.

“How bout, we both are sorry-”

“-and pretend it never, _ever_ happened?” Cloud interrupts. Cause, really, he never wants to think about how fucking stupid that was.

Zack laughs, shoulders shake, and neck arches back with it. 

It eases whatever rawness is left in Cloud. The air around them turns back to what it normally is. 

Easy and comfortable and feels like being home. Cloud’s heart thumps hard. Of course, he’s just right back on the crushing train. 

He watches Zack pull out some pasta, get down some fresh onions and tomatoes. He places them in front of Cloud along with a large cutting knife and a wooden cutting board. Just finished dicing them up when Zack turns around and leans on the counter, eyes softening.

“So a coma, huh?” he says into the silence. 

“Yeah,” Cloud exhales around his speech, “erased a whole year from my memory.”

Zack pours the pasta into the boiling water, comes and takes the cut-up tomatoes and onions, and tosses them with some olive oil into the frying pan. 

“You said that. How...how old were you?”

“Nineteen,” Cloud glances away from him when Zack glances at him from the stove, “took another whole year to recover from...everything.” 

Cloud must have zoned out, Zack is putting a plate of tossed pasta and the vegetables he cut in front of him. He put extra parmesan on his. 

Cloud’s not too hungry, emotions tend to shove his hunger away, but he eats anyway. It’s good and he doesn’t want to wake up in three hours starving. 

Zack sits across from him and stares at him with way too gentle eyes. It’s making him feel raw in all-new ways. 

Feels unbalanced. He’s told Zack his worst secret and he...well he knows Zack. Can pick out his moods, knows how his smiles differ and what his body language is. But he doesn’t know anything about before the last two years. 

Staring at the fraying of his hoodie Cloud still has pulled over himself, all he can hear is Jessie’s words in his head. 

“What’s with the hoodie?” he blurts out. Feels like he shouldn’t have directly after. But, since they’re sharing...

Zack’s whole body softens and gets a sadder, darker color in his sky eyes. Like an old hurt that’s fading the older he gets. 

“My parents didn’t have a lot of money,” Zack says in a found, soft tone, “so they saved up and bought more quality clothes when they could. I hated it, they always bought me stuff that I was supposed to grow into for years. So I could keep it into being an adult. I was fucking swimming in that thing when it was new.”

Cloud feels that pull in the air, when something really sad comes up. 

“I was fourteen. They went out to a party, got really drunk, and thought it was a good idea to drive home.”

Cloud swallows. Makes a note to never tell Zack the guy driving the pickup that killed his mom and put him in his coma was drunker than half those kids out at the frat house.

“That hoodie was the last thing they ever gave me.”

And now Cloud kind of feels like an ass for keeping it for so long. 

He also believes Jessie now, about Zack being cagey with it. 

“I…” 

Zack smiles in his mellow sadness, “I was wearing that stupid thing too when anything good ever happened to me after they died. Angeal always teases me, says it’s my lucky hoodie.”

Cloud has no idea who Angeal is. But, he feels like now isn’t the time to ask him. Swallows his curiosity.

“You think so?” Cloud asks, he doesn’t know why. 

Zack tenses for just a second and that determined look comes into his eyes again. He stands, comes around the island counter, and crowds close to Cloud. 

“Zack-mmp?” Zack interrupts him with a hard hand around the back of his neck and leans over him.

"I was wearing it when I met you."

Presses his lips hard against his, for just a moment. Pulls away to almost no pressure and brushes his lips softly against Cloud’s, barely even a touch. 

It shuts his brain down. Freezes up his body, Cloud can’t even kiss him back before he’s pulling away and looking down at him. Brushes his thumb just under Cloud’s left eye.

Stares at him for a long time. Before leaving Cloud to sit there with wide eyes, cleans up the kitchen and gently takes Cloud's arm. Pulls him up and out into the living area. 

Somehow, hours later, Cloud ends up curled on his side in Zack’s bed again. 

Except, Zack’s snoring into his back this time. Arms tight around his waist. 

***

Zack doesn’t say anything about that kiss from Halloween. He’s actually no different at all. Maybe, just a tiny bit more touchy with Cloud. Lingers longer and starts resting against him when they aren’t moving. 

They’ve got no time to talk about it either. Somehow, in that very dumb and dramatic night, Cloud kinda forgot...that he was going to school and not just having a very involved social life.

For once. For the first time ever, actually.

It was kind of jarring, to wake up the next day and have to stare into the void of textbooks and online articles and never-ending numbers that made his head spin. 

And then getting smacked in the face with midterms. Long midterms. 

His dumbass English professor gave them two parts.

_Two._

It took Cloud four hours to finish. He doesn’t really wanna think about finals in another six weeks. At least the holiday break will finally happen and he can nap the whole time. 

But that’s weeks and weeks away and he’s exhausted now, at the very end of his last midterm.

It’s later in the evening and the school is nice enough to give the days after students have their last midterm as the start of the weekend. 

Lucky him, his last midterm was today, on a Wednesday. 

The rest of his friend group are drowning in their Junior year midterms. He’s kind of scared to go back home. Jessie’s eyes had been wild with stress and Bigg’s stubble has progressed into a messy beard. Wedge didn’t even call him a bro on the way out this morning. 

So he goes to Zack’s favorite pizza place on campus and picks up an extra-large with hot, spicy sauce and too much pepperoni. Sends him a text on the way to his apartment.

Cloud: _Bringing pizza._

He keeps the phone on top of the pizza box. Only has to take five steps until it buzzes.

Zack: _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Okay. He’s real excited about pizza. Cloud laughs.

Zack: _Door’s unlocked._

It’s the messiest he’s seen Zack’s place. The couch is pushed to the side more, two of the cushions brought down onto the floor. Where Zack’s got papers and books and his tablet laying all spread out in a disorganized arch. The little clear floor spot for sitting against the cushions is empty.

No Zack. 

Cloud doesn’t bother calling out for him, Zack knows he is here. Slips his shoes off and goes to the kitchen to put the pizza down. Doesn’t even get to turn from the counter before Zack’s muscular build is pressing along his back, his arms slipping over his shoulders. 

“You brought me fo-od,” he squeezes him, presses his face hard against his neck.

Okay...it’s more than slightly different. Cloud’s still not sure what’s going on. Was it a one-time thing or-oh

Maybe not. Zack’s turning him, pressing him back against the counter and dipping his head down. He’s still careful with Cloud. Goes for him slowly and barely presses in. His lips are dry from the cold weather and it’s _just_ enough pressure for Cloud to feel the smallest spark of wanting more. 

Chaste and short. 

“Help me cram?” Zack asks, staying close to him, “just got one more midterm tomorrow.”

“Mm,” Cloud nods, only half processing his words. 

He’d rather they keep kissing. Zack keeps pulling away from him before Cloud’s brain can catch up and respond properly. 

But Zack’s already moving out of his space, grabbing the pizza box and walking back to his chaotic study area. Cloud lingers in the kitchen, stares after him until Zack’s glancing back at him with a slice of pizza in between his teeth. 

He jerks his head for Cloud to come over. Pats on the floor between his legs.

He’s not really going to be able to study if Cloud’s sitting in his lap. He hesitates. 

“Just, come here,” Zack says through his bite, yanks Cloud down and walls him in with his thighs. Snakes an arm around his waist and pulls him back against his chest, “What’s with you? You’re more shy than normal.”

Cloud doesn’t answer him, just glares at him and twists so he can hunch into his shoulders and press back against Zack’s chest. Makes himself as small as possible so Zack can reach around him and grab his reading material. 

It...kind of works. Cloud ends up holding his book a few times while Zack scarfs down half that pizza. Zack likes to hook his chin over his head and read over his shoulder.

Weirdo. This is not an efficient way to study. 

Cloud only notices it after the pizza has gone cold and most of it is gone.

It’s all his psyche material. 

He knows Freshmen and Sophomore year is for getting the basics out of the way, figuring out what direction to go before the real work sets in for Junior and Senior. Seeing all the work Zack has to just absorb makes him feel bad. Compared to his, Cloud’s basically done nothing. 

He should not be here. He’s distracting Zack. 

It just makes him loop back on his unbalanced feeling. That Zack knows way more about him than he does about Zack. 

“Okay, I’m done I can’t process anymore,” Zack says, tossing his tablet onto the ground. 

Cloud frowns, “I can go.” so he can study better.

“Uh, no way,” Zack’s snaking both arms around him, pressing against his chest and holding him close, “I haven’t even started with you.”

Cloud’s breath catches. Started...with him.

What are they starting? It’s confusing. Zack’s not clear what he’s looking for. A boyfriend? Just a release? 

Just a fuck buddy?

Cloud’s heart thumps. He’d be...not great for that. He’s never done anything. 

Just another annoying side effect of his accident. Not that anyone in Nibelheim was interested in him anyway. Sucks about a small town, when you know everyone. If you’re the asshole, it follows you around for a long time. 

Zack’s hands are already wandering, slipping down his torso and dipping under Cloud’s t-shirt. He rubs along his flat stomach and bunches up his shirt. Traces his faded muscles. 

Cloud still doesn’t have good energy for building them back up. Maybe one day. 

Zack’s just, slowly touching him. Mapping out his body and fitting his hands under his clothes. He brushes his thumb up, grazes across his nipple.

“Ah,” Cloud bites down on his lip. Not expecting to moan out like that, fights the heat rising on his face. 

Not that he would know how sensitive he is. 

Zack laughs lowly, curls down with Cloud’s hunching. His touches get harder.

It’s kind of weird. The smallest of kisses, only two and Zack’s already gunning for way more. Just sex then? Cloud thinks it over and over in the back of his mind. 

He should...probably tell Zack then. That he’s never…

“Hey,” Zack says into his ear. Pulls him out of his head, “look at me.”

He does, twists his neck too, and gets a tongue shoved between his lips. Zack’s hands leave from under his shirt, cup his jaw instead. It’s jarring, going from more needy touches to a gentle hold. 

At least it’s a _real_ kiss this time. Zack presses hard, tilting his head to deepen his angle, starts opening Cloud’s lips up more. 

But then he levels out. Just keeps the same intensity, doesn’t look for more or easy up. 

He’s still holding Cloud’s jaw tenderly in his palms.

They kiss for a long time. Short ones with loud smacks and tingling pressure. Easy ones, figuring out how their lips fit together ones. 

It fogs Cloud’s head and he’s still thrown off by the heavy petting at the beginning. Doesn’t stop him from falling into a late-night numbness and lingering in the pleasant sensitivity from kissing for so long. 

Zack keeps him between his legs and against his chest, stares into his eyes with a tenderness that’s just confusing Cloud even more. 

Almost as long as they kissed for. Cloud’s too numbed to really say anything and Zack seems just fine staring at every freckle fading away from the summer. 

***

_At practice, come meet me?_

His phone tells him, almost an hour ago now. Zack will be finishing up soon. He’s got a weird lacrosse schedule. Sporadic practices that seem more like warm-ups and fooling around. He hasn’t had any games yet, but Cloud’s not good with sport seasons and schedules. 

Cloud: _Sure._

He sends the text and packs up his backpack. He’d gone straight to the library every day after class this week. Apparently the price for getting a few days free after midterms is an assault of homework and study prep for finals that are still six weeks out. 

He’s got too much head pressure and he forgot half of his lectures this week. Even though he knows it’s somewhere in his head.

A bad day then. He hasn’t had one in a while. At least he’s got Zack’s hoodie to keep him warm. Not even the heated classrooms can block out the cold, now that it’s persistent and actually _cold._

The sleeves keep falling around his wrist. It’s so baggy on him, it’s just a tiny annoyance when he’s taking notes. 

The library is close to the central park, he can see the lacrosse team wrapping up practice from the windows as he heads out. The cold air is crisp and shocks his body, just like every time he walks out of a building. 

He gets there fast, goes right for Zack. His helmet is off, standing at the bleachers, hair pulled up lazily and yanking off the bulky gloves. He’s talking to a seated Biggs, the rest of the team moving around them and gathering their things. 

He lights up like a puppy, just as always, when he sees Cloud crossing the grass. The butterflies in his stomach are different now, but still there. 

Should he kiss him? Are they doing that in public? Cloud wants too. 

He doesn’t, falters as he steps up to him.

“Hey-”

Zack’s reaching out, grasps at his hoodie collar and yanks Cloud in against his sweaty body. He catches a soft smile right before Zack’s taking a warm, hard kiss from him. Hunching down to deepen it for just a moment before pulling away. 

Zack never makes him work for it. Goes to Cloud’s height every time. 

“Hi,” Zack says quietly, face close and lashes half lowered.

A round of hollars and cat-whistles bursts their bubble. One of Zack’s teammates slaps Zack on the back.

“Hey man, you gotta tell us we’re allowed to bring cuties to practice.” Zack’s just shoving the guy back with a laugh. 

Cloud flushes and looks away. Which is a mistake, looks right at Biggs sitting close on the bench, smirking at him. 

“Don’t even,” Cloud warns him. Glares hard for good measure.

Zack jostling him and dropping his upper body all over Cloud’s back and shoulders ruins it. He’s running really hot, Cloud can feel his body heat through Zack’s hoodie. 

“Hey,” he says at Biggs, “Wedge still making his ‘winter special’?”

It’s not even winter yet and it’s just stew. Jessie’s been asking for it all week. 

“Yeah, man. You can even use our shower too.” Biggs stands and grabs his sports bag, slugs it over his shoulder, “hurry up before Jessie eats it all.”

Zack just leans more of his weight on Cloud, “That okay, if I stay over?”

They usually go to Zack’s place on practice nights. It’s weird he’s asking Cloud if he can. He’s never done that before.

But then...they weren’t regularly sucking face either. 

Which is still at the same leveled-out pace, been that way since Halloween. Zack will go hard at the start and then backs off. 

Maybe Cloud’s putting something out in the air he’s not aware of. 

“Cloud?” he’s easing up his leaning, worry etched into his voice.

His headache throbs at him. He’d forgotten about it for a moment. 

He wants an answer. 

No, he means, he needs to answer Zack. Ugh. He hates bad days. 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he finally says. 

Zack’s all worried now. Pulled away completely and staring at him with glossy eyes. Sweetly reaches out and tugs gently on the strains of hair by Cloud’s jaw. 

He does that...when Cloud’s coma spacey. 

“I don’t have to-” Zack starts.

“-No, I want you to. Come on.” Cloud grabs his hand, reaches for Zack’s sports bag, and throws it over his own shoulder.

Pulls Zack along with him, wide eyes and loosely hanging onto his lacrosse stick. 

He didn’t like that look on Zack’s face. Uncertainty. Shouldn’t be there. 

Zack falls into step with him and bumps his hip the whole way back. 

They catch up to Biggs just as Cloud’s apartment building comes into view. Doesn’t make Zack drop his hand. If anything, he tangles their fingers together tighter. 

Still hangs on to him when they walk in and Jessie and Wedge start happily shouting at them.

“Oh my god! Freakin finally,” Jessie hops around them, a smile nearly splitting her face open.

Cloud hates this immediately, but he doesn’t want Zack to get that look on his face again. He’ll just deal...while trying to hide at Zack’s side and just _not_ look at Jessie. 

“Yeah, we thought you guys would be in denial forever,”

Or Wedge. 

Wait. How do they know? 

“Did you text them?” Cloud asks Biggs.

Gets a wide cheeky smile in return.

Cloud rolls his eyes. Ugh, he’s not looking at anyone for the rest of the night. 

Zack drops his lacrosse stick, takes his sports bag from Cloud’s shoulder, and finally lets go of his hand. 

“Shower?”

“Towels in the side closet,” Jessie says, still smiling at them too widely.

At least she’s back in the large armchair. She pretends to be reading her chemistry textbook as Cloud drops down onto the couch. He pretends not to notice her sneaking glances at him. 

He’s only sitting for five minutes when his phone blows up. 

Tifa: _OMG YOU GUYS KISSED!_

Aerith: _Ooo-ooo, Clou-d, I heard you were sucking face on the lacrosse field._

Tifa: _WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??_

Tifa: _ >:/ You didn’t tell me???? _

Aerith: _Don’t lie, Biggs saw yo-u._

Mortifying, it’s so mortifying. Why do all the girls in his life think it’s the funniest game to tease him. He doesn’t answer either of them. Chooses to glare at Biggs in the kitchen instead.

This is all his fault. Probably texted everyone the moment Zack pulled Cloud to his body. 

He winces when he notices Cloud boring an icy glare into his skull.

“Hey man, I had to warn them. Zack gets...handsy real fast.”

Jessie snorts, “no kidding. When he was dating Aerith freshman year it was so bad, I had to burn that couch.”

Wait what. Aerith and Zack are exes?

Just another thing. Cloud doesn’t know about Zack. His headache throbs again and the little good mood he has wilts a bit. 

His phone buzzes a few more times.

Aerith: _Don’t worry, he means nothing to me-he was just cute._

Tifa: _Is he being nice to you?_

Aerith: _He likes it if you bite his ear._

Tifa: _Aerith told me he’s a fast mover._

Aerith: _Oh and that jutted spot at the top of his hip._

Tifa: _YOU CAN SAY NO CLOUD._

“Oh my god.” Cloud stands up, “If Tifa comes over, don’t let her in my room,” He stomps off into his room. Turns his phone’s ringer on silent and no vibration and tosses it on his computer chair. Falls onto his tiny twin bed. 

His headache is even worse now and he’s starting to forget the whole beginning of his day. 

Deep breaths.

Try to even them out slow. 

He closes his eyes and curls in on his side.

His door opens and closes softly. 

He knows it’s Zack. He smells like Cloud’s soap and he’s warm as he sits against his back.

“You okay?” low and quiet.

Breath in.

“Yeah…”

Out.

Zack’s hand hovers at his side.

Breath in.

“Bad day?”

Out. 

“Mmm.”

His hand grazes against his side, slips his shirt up, and rubs softly at his hip. It’s soothing. Helps him push into sleep. 

Zack’s arms wake him in the dead of the night. He’s too groggy to really take in anything other than Zack shifting him around and slipping under the covers. Pulls Cloud on top of him and embraces him tightly. 

He says something, Cloud only registers it from the rumble in his chest against his ear.

His headache is gone, he realizes as he falls back into sleep. 

***

“When’s your guys’ first game?” Cloud asks, thunking his pen over and over on the same spot of his paper. 

They’re in the library again, for the second day in a row. Hidden in the back corner by the windows. Piles of books around them. Cloud’s trying to make a cheat sheet for his final coming up. His mathematics professor is, surprisingly, nice enough to let them have one page of notes. Cloud’s determined to shove the whole semester’s worth on it. He’s not bad, he just has been having too many bad days recently.

Must be the stress of finals. Just the weekend left and it’s already Saturday afternoon. He’s had his face shoved in a book or in his computer screen non-stop. Barely any time to crash at Zack’s all week.

He yawns for the third time in an hour. 

He’s not going to complain though. 

Zack looks near meltdown. He’s got his hair pulled back as he does for practice, dark circles line his eyes and he’s paler from lack of sleep. His left eye twitches every so often from stress. 

He’s still gorgeous though. 

Cloud’s been missing his touch. They don’t have time to do anything. Just crash into a bed and pass out after staying up to study. Wake up tangled all together and stumble up. Maybe they can grab a bagel and coffee from the cafe, if they sleep at Cloud’s place. 

Zack’s got power bars at his. Shoves one at Cloud when they leave blurry-eyed in the morning. 

It’s exhausting and Cloud is ready for finals to be done and over. 

“Mm?” Zack snaps out of his daze, “game? Oh, for lacrosse. Season officially starts mid-February.”

So late. Why are they practicing so early in the school year? 

Cloud stares at Zack, waiting for an answer.

And waits.

And-

Shit. He realizes after a good five minutes of staring at Zack.

He hadn’t actually asked him. 

He really is having one too many bad days in a row. 

His phone vibrates loudly on the table, shakes until it hits one of Zack’s stack of books. Shakes Cloud out of his daze too. 

Tifa: _You boys okay up there?_

How’s she kno-another text.

Tifa: _Look out the window._

She’s waving at him, Aerith on her arm and laughing through her own wave. They’re bundled up tightly. It gets really cold fast in Midgar, the winter holidays only weeks away now. 

Cloud: _Fine._

Tifa: _Wanna take a break and come with us to the cafe?_

The one by their building. He doesn’t really. He’s been forgetting so much shit and if he stops he thinks the whole morning will just drop out of his head. 

At least it’s all back there when he wakes up the next day.

Zack however...he looks like he’s going to burst into tears any second.

His midterms had been rough. Said he hadn’t focused enough on two of his subjects and didn’t do too well. He’s been stressing for weeks. He’ll have to ace his finals if he wants to pass the classes.

He needs a break. He’s gone too long of a stretch without one.

“Zack.”

“Mmmm?”

“Break?” Cloud taps his arm, “Tifa and Aerith want to go to...uh..”

Shit, he forgot. He just fucking read it.

Maybe he needs that break just as bad.

“Cloud? They wanna go where?”

Seriously, he can’t remember. 

He could just look at his phone. It’s right there on his book but he should be able to remember that. 

His breath catches.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Cloud,” Zack’s pulling his earbuds and he's scooting back his chair. 

He pulls Cloud to face him, slipping his hands around the back of his knees and rubbing his thumbs. Leans in so Cloud can focus on Zack’s intense eyes and block out the quiet noise in the library.

“Easy, it's fine. You got it,” he matches his breathing with Cloud's. Breathes a little deeper so Cloud can see his chest rising and falling better.

It helps…

His touch and the lung synching. 

Oh, the cafe. 

He flushes a bit, looks away from Zack now that he remembers. So easy too. Can’t believe that’s what he forgot. 

Stress really does suck.

“Better?” Zack asks him, he’s still holding onto his knees.

Cloud nods, “they wanna go to the cafe.” 

By their building. 

But he forgot to say that. 

Zack smiles, stands up, and leans in. Presses his lips to Cloud’s forehead.

It’s horrible. But only cause that’s the first kiss Zack’s given him in a week and it just flips a switch in Cloud. 

Instead of stress-induced coma daze, he’s thrown into his..guy, boyfriend, person he sleeps with, is way too attractive daze.

From a stupid forehead kiss.

They leave the books at the table, not wanting to check them out of the library and lug them around. Whatever is on their computers will just have to work. Cloud still has tomorrow to flush out his cheat sheet. He doesn’t need the library for it either. He just went cause Zack needed half the books in there. 

Tifa and Aerith are smiling widely with cold flushed noses and cheeks, giggling at them as they come out of the library.

“Oh, good I was going to come in there and drag you two out.”

“Yeah,” Aerith leans in towards them, narrowing her eyes, “you look like someone’s run you over.”

She’s talking more at Zack.

She’s not lying...he’s not looking the best.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just go. It’s fuckin’ freezing out here.” Zack is shivering pretty hard next to Cloud. He’s even got a jacket on over his navy hoodie. 

Less sleep must make his blood run less hot. 

“Zack, you’re surprised every winter that it gets this cold, are you ever going to learn?” Aerith flips her braid at him, laughs at his pout as they make their way toward the cafe. 

“No, I wanna complain about it. It’s never this cold in Gongaga.”

That’s right, he’s mentioned it. Zack’s from down south, where their winters are so mild there’s no need for jackets, probably not even his lucky hoodie. 

“You haven’t lived there for nine years,” Aerith quips back. 

Cloud huffs and steps a bit closer. He’s not...okay, he’s a little jealous. That Aerith knows Zack so well. Zack notices, smiles brightly at Cloud, and drops an arm around him. It makes his dark circles clear a little. For some reason, he’s pleased that Cloud is harboring envious feelings.

It’s a huge sigh of relief stepping into the crowded cafe. Warmth floods around them and they quickly shuffle in and close the door before half the students start yelling at them. They take the last half booth table in the corner. 

“You guys hold the table, we’ll order,” Tifa says, unwrapping her scarf and shrugging off her jacket to place on her chair. Aerith follows her to the line, pointing at her phone.

Cloud’s vibrates in his pocket. 

Aerith: _What do you guys want?_

Like they couldn’t just ask them before they went to stand in line. 

Cloud: _I don’t care._

Aerith: _Fine, I know Zack’s preference. You’ll just get what you deserve._

She sticks her tongue out at him from the other side of Tifa. 

Whatever. He rolls his eyes and leans back against the booth.

Only for Zack to push him forward two seconds later and scoot in closer. He draws him against his side, their legs flush together, and Cloud slots right in against his chest and his shoulder. Drapes his arm around him and dips his cold thumb under Cloud’s collar to rub at his skin. 

Cloud hisses, “Your hand is freezing.” But he still relaxes into the soft fabric of Zack’s hoodie.

He kinda wishes he had stolen it to wear this morning. 

“Mm, yeah and you’re a freakin heater. How did that happen?” Zack’s pressing his lips against his temple again, staying as close as Cloud will let him, “Weren’t you just freezing your ass off this whole semester?”

Cloud huffs, ignores the flush on his cheeks as Zack’s _actually_ nuzzling against his hair.

There are so many people in this cafe, but it’s relaxing Zack and he’s more stressed about finals than Cloud.

So….

“Mm, must be the Nibel blood,” he says, “we get used to it fast.”

It makes Zack laugh, seems to lighten his dark circles even more. 

Good. Cloud doesn’t like that watery glint in his eyes he had at the library. 

He laughs even more when the girls come back with their drinks and their food.

Aerith’s sliding a very bright drink at Cloud with an innocent smile. There’s fucking sprinkles on it. 

“Oh, don’t pout, Cloud,” Tifa places a nice regular looking mug in front of him too, “I got you your normal latte.”

Zack ends up drinking whatever the horrifying bright drink is. 

They stay the rest of the day and Zack’s frown lines disappear and his eyes brighten back to their sky color. 

It eases the pressure in Cloud’s head and by the time it’s dark out and they’ve had another round of drinks, he can remember everything he’s been cramming for the last few days. 

***

It’s been hell. 

And it only helps a little, that all his classmates are just as frazzled looking, just as tired and cranky as he is. 

He thinks the only reason his damaged memory behaves this week is because he’s been worried about Zack having a breakdown. 

He’s texted him after every final to check-in. 

Just gets lots of stressed-out emojis in return. 

The week flies by just as fast and Cloud’s getting anxious at his seat. His last final, his mathematics one. It’s long and he has to blink often to wet his drying eyes. 

He finishes mid-way of the slotted time and he feels good about it. 

Didn’t even need to use his one cheat sheet they were allowed. 

His Professor stares at him with chilling sea-green eyes when he turns it in. They have a mini stare down for some reason and then Cloud just about faces and books it out of there. 

Still, at the end of the semester, he’s the most terrifying teacher he’s ever had. And he’s included the ones he can’t remember the first time he was a freshman. 

He flips up Zack’s hoodie hood and whips out his phone. Zack should be almost done with his last final too. 

Cloud: _Just finished. I hate that professor, he’s terrifying. You done?_

He makes his way to the psyche buildings anyway. He’ll wait around for Zack. It’s fine. Now that he’s done and has a glorious three-week break in his immediate future, he doesn’t really care if he passes or not. 

Three weeks without studying, without homework.

Three weeks with Zack and no important distractions. His stomach flips, gets butterflies. 

Embarrassingly, he’s smiling to himself as he slips into the psyche building. 

It’s dead silent and he quiets his steps. Finds Zack’s classroom and waits against the wall across from the door. 

Maybe a ten-minute wait, when his phone buzzes.

Zack: _DONE, FUCKING DONE._

And then the door bursts open across from him. It makes Cloud jump and then laughs. He sees the students in the classroom jump and settles back into their tests. 

“Oh my god, you’re right here,” Zack says. 

He doesn’t even let Cloud push off from the wall, just bounds up to him, and smashes his tall body against him. 

“Hi,” Cloud mutters, can’t even say anything else cause Zack presses his lips on his, swallows the rest of his words.

It gets heated fast. All the stress from the last few weeks just vanished and there’s no room for anything else but them. Zack pulls back enough to look into Cloud’s eyes.

“My place?” 

“Mmm,” Cloud nods, already fogged from his searing kiss.

Holy shit, Zack’s been really holding back. He’s never kissed him like that, all wet and open-mouthed and-

They should not be doing this in the hallway.

Cloud doesn’t even feel the cold biting into his skin as they walk close together, bumping into each other.

Zack’s fucking grinning so wide, it’s hard to look at him. 

Zack’s place is cold too, from no one being home all day or even the last few. He’s been crashing at Cloud’s apartment all week. 

It’s all Cloud can really think before Zack’s shoving him back against the door. Slips his bag off his shoulder and drops his own roughly to the floor. Presses all along Cloud and is slipping his tongue in between his lips. Hands sliding into his hair and holding his head still. 

It’s wet and sloppy and Cloud’s getting pulled along. He’s...never kissed like this before.

He’s never had anyone so desperate for him. 

Zack pulls back with an obscene lip smack, presses their foreheads together, and lets their gasping breath mingle. He’s got his eyes shut tight like he’s trying to calm himself down. Cloud reaches up and holds onto his forearms, watches Zack’s face shift through a few emotions. 

“Fuck, you’ve got no idea how long I’ve been holding back,” he tells him.

Cloud shakes, bites at his lip to keep from moaning as Zack’s pulling down his hoodie collar and getting his mouth under his jawline. He sucks in a quick bite before looking down into Cloud’s eyes again.

His pupils are blown out wide, eyes dark with need.

“Will you let me fuck you?” he asks him.

 _Asks him_ , like Cloud’s got any other thought running through his head. He’s rubbing his thumb along his cheek, waiting for an answer.

“Y-yeah.” he’s got to gasp after, like just admitting he wants to is taking his breath. 

It’s just a hard green light for Zack. He’s dropping his hands, hastily slips them up under his own Hoodie Cloud has on. Bunches it up and shoves the fabric up and up with his forearms, his hands gliding along Cloud’s bare torso, his ribs. Dips down and around to press at the deep dimples in Cloud’s lower back. 

It’s his fingers testing his waistband that brings Cloud back from the rushed lust-filled touches.

“Wait, Z-Zack, hold on,”

“Mmm? Wha-what’s wrong?” Zack looks more fucked out than Cloud feels. He thinks this is affecting him more.

Cloud’s not even touched him, just is letting Zack press him against the door and do what he wants. It makes the heat in his lower stomach stir more. Zack wants him that bad? 

“Cloud? What?” He asks him gently, eyes searching all over Cloud’s face as if he can find the answer himself. 

“I-I’m,” ugh, this is actually the most embarrassing to admit.

He’s twenty-two and he’s a guy and he’s a virgin. 

He can hear Tifa yelling at him in his head. That it’s not a big deal, virginity is just a social construct.

Whatever, it’s still embarrassing. 

He can’t look in Zack’s eyes as he tells him. 

“You’re?”

“I...I’ve never,” Sweet Zack, figures it out before Cloud can finish stumbling through his bashfulness. 

Zack’s eyes widen with his inhale. Cloud can’t tell if it’s a bad reaction or not. 

“Y-You’re a virgin?” He breathes out. 

Cloud still can’t tell. He huffs and sinks down on the door a little more. 

“...yeah…”

There’s just Zack’s heavy breathing and then he’s yanking his jaw up and kissing him hard. Slipping his lips against his and rushing all his suction. 

“That’s okay, I’m glad you told me,” Zack says against his lips. Kisses him again, “don’t worry. I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

It pushes that heat in Cloud to a full roaring flame. He’s instantly hard and shakes against Zack at the promise. 

Holy fuck. Zack doesn’t care. He thought...he doesn’t know what he thought. Zack’s sweet, Cloud doesn’t know why he’s surprised that he doesn’t care.

He...kind of seems turned on by it. His eyes are even darker and he’s nearly vibrating with lust. 

He slows way down though. Gets a soft look around the corners of his eyes and his hands graze over his skin gently. 

“Come on,” he pulls away, tugs at Cloud to follow him up his spiral stairs. 

He pulls Cloud close in front of his bed. Runs his hands up and down Cloud’s arms. Feels reassuring.

Cloud’s not nervous, he’s...just ready. 

Zack’s annoyingly gotten under his skin and he’s only just catching on how much he really likes him. 

His kisses are back to gentle and slow pulls. Looks into Cloud’s eyes after every short one. One more and he reaches around Cloud. Tugs his hoodie up and pulls away to pull it up and off Cloud. 

He drops it on the floor and does the same for Cloud’s v-neck underneath. His skin breaks out in goosebumps.

“Cold?” Zack laughs a little, very gently takes Cloud’s chin between his fingers, and draws him up.

It’s slower than before, but the pressure is hard and the slip is wet. Long and drawn out, sends shivers along the back of Cloud’s neck. He kisses him like that until Cloud feels his eyes flutter and his body shake. He moans into Zack’s mouth. 

Must have been what Zack was looking for. He’s easing Cloud back and down onto his bed. Hooks an arm around his waist so Cloud doesn’t just crash down onto the mattress. He settles him all the way back, against the massive pile of pillows he has. 

Cloud looks up at him, watches him stare at his body. It’s hot, the need in Zack’s eyes. 

Fuck, it’s even hotter as Zack yanks his shirt off himself and tosses it aside. He knows Zack’s built well, works out nearly every day, lacrosse, and probably a bit of lucky genes.

But the dim lighting is highlighting every dip in his stomach, shadows his big arms in the right spots and halos out his broad shoulders. 

Yeah, he’s _definitely_ into guys.

Zack laughs brightly, “Oh, go-od, I’m a guy.”

He said that out loud. Zack’s still laughing, slots a knee in between Cloud’s legs, and leans over him. Stares in his eyes as he reaches down and unbuttons Cloud’s jeans, unzips them, and shifts his hips. Takes a kiss from him before lifting his legs up and strips his jeans down and off. 

He’s taking way too long to undress them. Cloud huffs and sits up, reaches for Zack’s denim with shaky hands.

He laughs again, “Easy, no rush, we’ve got lots of time.”

It’s true, holiday break started an hour ago after their last final. Doesn’t mean Cloud has to lay around and wait for Zack to get a move on. 

He just whines at him instead. Gets Zack laughing _again_. 

A fast kiss, “okay, okay, stay right there.” 

Zack stands off the bed, strips the rest of his clothes, and disappears for a moment. He comes back with lube and a condom.

Not that Cloud is really paying attention. He’s distracted. Zack smirks at him, crawls back over, and manhandles his legs around again. Spreads them and slips them over his bare hips. 

Cloud can’t really stop looking at Zack. At his cock, he’s hard and flushed a deep red. It’s weird to think, someone’s like that because of him. 

He’s leaning in for more kissing, dumps some lube on his hand, and slips Cloud’s boxers down and off. Starts stroking him slowly, with a fast wrist flick over the head of his cock and a tighter squeeze moving down his shaft.

Cloud’s fucking moan and shaking under Zack in seconds. It’s good, slick and a steady pace. Cloud can feel his orgasm building already.

Too early and too fast, they just started. Zack keeps pulling kisses from him, nipping at his lips as he strokes him. Faster and a little faster. Cloud reaches up, grabs at his arm next to his shoulder, he doesn’t want it to be over yet. He’s almost there and Zack’s not stopping.

Too much, he’s-

Cloud yelps and tenses. Zack’s squeezed around him a bit too hard, cuts off his orgasm instantly. Cloud curls up, pushes his head into Zack’s chest and gasps.

“Easy, easy. Too soon yeah?” Zack’s hushing him.

Cloud’s never had sex, but he’s not dumb. Zack’s fucking edging him. He stays against Zack and shakes. Waits for the shock of being cut off from coming to subside. The heat in him slowly comes back and he’s still hard, but he’s not so close to the edge anymore. 

Zack shifts him more, scoots up and pulls Cloud down to him, so the v of his legs are right up against Zack. Their cocks brush together and Cloud moans. He didn’t think he’d be this sensitive either. Zack’s just grazing his fingers along his spine and it feels so good. The movement cools his skin a little. 

“Okay?” Zack asks him, “you’ll let me do that again?”

Edge him? Cloud tilts his head up to look at Zack’s face. He just nods against his skin. Zack leans over a little, gets an arm around Cloud, and lifts him up, so he’s sitting higher on Zack’s thighs and holds him. 

Zack leans right in and starts sucking a kiss into the hollows of his collarbone. Starts stroking him again, slower than before, and not as much tightness in his fingers. Lazy and sloppy. Cloud lifts his shaking arms and drapes them over Zack’s shoulders. Gets a hum in his skin for it. 

He knows Zack’s going to cut him off, his body waits for it, shakes with his building pressure. It feels harder this time, feels like the pressure is trying to beat Zack.

It doesn’t, Zack bites hard into his shoulder this time, to starve off the pleasure. Lets go of him and wraps both of his arms around Cloud’s thin waist as he shakes. Zack’s humming into his skin again.

“Good, that’s it. Once more?” He asks into his skin, “it’ll be so good when I let you come.” 

Cloud’s not sure he can take it one more time but... Zack sounds so sweet, voice thick and tender, eager to make sure Cloud’s comfortable and feels good.

Even as he’s fucking driving him insane. 

He hikes Cloud up even higher, holds him just around his hips, arm is right up under his ass. He’s at eye level with Cloud’s chest. Cloud already knows what he’s doing, gasps as his stroking starts again. 

Zack’s sweet enough to distract him from his quickly building future. Licks a flat line up his sternum, eyes looking up at Cloud. Presses a wet open kiss across his skin. Once more and swipes his tongue across Cloud’s left nipple.

He jerks against Zack, remembers all those weeks ago, when Zack's hand just brushed against him with his thumb. 

Zack stays on him, sucks his lips around his nipple and strokes harder and faster, his knuckles brushing against Cloud's taught stomach. 

“Ah...Zack,” Cloud’s sliding his hand into Zack’s dark hair, gripping tightly. There’s no way Zack’s cutting him off this time, he’s building too fast. Won’t be able to time it right. 

Zack gets his teeth into his flesh, makes Cloud jerk again and that’s it, it’s too much-

Expect it’s gone, his orgasm leaves him with a sharp sting and another jerk. Cloud sobs; collapses against Zack.

No way. The zing of pleasure rushes through his body, but he’s still harder than ever. Not even a drop of pre-come. How’d Zack _do_ that? 

He shifts them again, puts Cloud down into the pillows and pulls one of his legs against his chest, bends his knee over his shoulder. Exposes him to Zack without spreading his legs too wide. 

Zack looks fucking wrecked, now that Cloud’s not being tormented in a lusty haze, he can focus on him. 

“There you are,” Zack says to him. His voice is even thicker with want. He kisses the side of his knee.

For some reason, it makes Cloud blush. Too sweet of a gesture in the middle of all the intensity. 

“A-are you going to fuck me anytime soon?” Cloud manages to get out.

He wants a laugh from him. It sounds good like this, in his wrecked low voice. 

Cloud gets it, a blinding smile too.

“Damn, you’re fun, you know that?”

Cloud’s whole body thuds along with his heart. Fun….no one’s ever called him fun before. He’s usually the one ruining it.

It’s probably the over-stimulation and the excitement of his first time, but it fucking makes his eyes sting. Too sweet. What is this, pulling all the kind and caring moves? He’s supposed to be fucking him. 

Zack kisses the inside of his knee again and reaches for the lube. Squeezes a lot out onto his fingers and shifts his body. Gets just enough space between them so he can slip his fingers down. Rubs at his entrance slowly. 

“Ready?” Zack asks him. He’s staring at him again, holds his gaze as he pushes in a slick finger.

It doesn’t really feel like anything. Cloud bites at his lip and tries not to shy away from Zack’s eyes. 

“You’re pretty relaxed already, try for two?” Zack doesn’t wait for his answer, more like warning him. 

He feels it more, slicker still, and the smallest amount of tight pressure. Zack strokes his fingers down real slow inside him. Twists them just so and does it again. 

“Ah”

Zack licks his lips. Spreads his free hand down over Cloud’s stomach. Traces his toned lines as he pumps his fingers in and out of him. 

He’s not ripped like Zack, not anymore. But the faded definition is slowly coming back. Not that it really matters when Zack’s twisting his wrist roughly, as he pushes back inside him. 

“A-hh,” Cloud arches slightly, he wants more. 

Taking too long, he’s loose enough. His body is starting to crave more. 

“Zack,”

He laughs, Zack’s full of laughter during sex. It’s ...fitting. Makes things less awkward and embarrassing. Warms Cloud and starts his butterflies moving. 

Zack pushes his third slicked finger in, doesn’t stop or wait for Cloud to adjust. Keeps pressing in and spreads them when he’s knuckle deep. Makes Cloud gasp loudly and arch even more. He _feels_ that pressure, but it’s good. Makes his own cock jump. 

He doesn’t wait as long, Cloud can feel his cock brush against his skin. Must be getting painful by now. 

Zack keeps his leg over his shoulder and feels around the bed for the condom he brought with him.

“Zack….” Cloud reaches out to still his searching hand. 

Cloud’s never so...he’s clean. Zack seems to get it with just his light touch.

“Cloud. You sure? I’m clean, I promise,” he’s shifting again and Cloud feels the head of his cock brush against his entrance, “I get tested every year. But...if it helps, I haven’t been with anyone since Aerith.”

It’s jarring, to hear someone else’s name when they are so connected like this. Let alone a friend of theirs. But the weirdness fades quickly. 

Cloud nods, “I’m sure.” 

Zack’s blinding him again with his smile. Grabs for the lube this time and pours a generous amount over his cock. Strokes himself with a shaking wince, coating his whole cock. He’s...a lot bigger looking now that he’s going to be inside Cloud. He’s sweet to slick up Cloud’s entrance with the extra on his fingers. 

He doesn’t linger this time, the lust is too much, Cloud can see it in his shaking arms and in his dark eyes. He lines up, shifts his hips, and wraps an arm aound Cloud’s leg that’s over his shoulder.

It’s an easy slide. Just the smallest pinch and then Cloud’s so full. More and more, until Zack’s all the way in, his pelvis flush against him. Moaning deep in his throat the whole slide. 

“Fuck, Cloud. _Holy_ , how are you this tight. Feels like I didn’t prep you at all.” He’s just mumbling, doesn’t wait for any answer back.

He pulls out slow, real slow with shallow breaths and short groans. He’s holding back. It’s in his muscles, in his shoulders. He’s tense. 

“Zack, come _on,_ ” Cloud groans out. Zack whines at him, desperate, “you’re not hurting me. Move it.” 

Yet another little kiss to his knee. 

And then Cloud’s just lost. Zack’s rolling his hips wide and thrusting in hard, faster the more Cloud trembles under him and moans. Encouraging him, so he forgoes the embarrassment at being loud and just gives in to all of it. 

Zack’s really brought him to the edge too many times. His orgasm builds way too fast this time. So fast it almost hurts. Rushes up through his body and then shatters him. Feels like he’s coming, but Zack rolls extra hard and shifts just a little, slams right inside him, just right and punches out Cloud’s real orgasm.

It’s rough and he can’t stop the raspy scream that rips from his throat. He arches up to Zack, grabbing at the sheets under him. His whole body tenses in the curve he’s in and he shakes as Zack still pounds into him.

Hits that spot in him over and over, even after his almost painful orgasm subsides. Sends pleasant shockwaves all along his body.

Zack loses his rhythm, goes just a tad too rough and stills inside him with a loud moan. 

Cloud’s leg slips off his shoulder and Zack collapses down on top of him.

“Ooph,” Cloud grunts, his weight pulls him out of his afterglow. 

Zack’s shaking on top of him. _A lot._ Pushes some more butterflies in Cloud’s stomach and a stupid little ball of warmth in his chest. 

Feels like maybe he’s falling for Zack. 

He just lets it rest in him and wraps his arms around Zack, lifts his thighs to bracket him in, and just holds on to him. 

He’s exhausted, all around. Mentally and emotionally and his body is going to ache tomorrow. 

He gives in to that too and just hangs on to Zack.

Lets his afterglow pull him into sleep. 

He wakes in the middle of the night. Cleaned up a bit, slipped under the covers and curled against Zack. 

He’s fucking freezing still. The heat must not be on and with the cold lingering all day and getting colder at night.

That brick accent wall doesn’t do any wonders for insulation either. Even Zack’s warm body doesn’t keep the most of the chill out. 

Cloud scoots away, rolls over, and feels around for Zack’s hoodie on the floor. He finds his boxers first, pulls them on without waking Zack. 

“ _Yes_ ,” he mumbles groggily when he feels the soft fleece fabric. He sits up and tugs it on. Smells like Zack, stronger because of his cologne stuck in the threads. 

Cloud flips the hood up and tugs the sleeves down to his fingers. All the extra fabric bunches around his wrists and his palms. 

He flops back down against Zack. Doesn’t even disturb him. His arm comes up to hold him as Cloud falls back into sleep, a lot warmer. 

***

He’s first to really wake up. The morning light peeking in through all the windows below the loft. Makes Zack’s whole place a little glowy. 

For one second, he panics. 

He’s got a fucking final to go to.

Except, no-he doesn’t it’s fine. They finished. 

And now they’re on holiday break.

Cloud shifts, rolls over and out of Zack’s arms. Winces as he sits up. He’s just a little achy. 

It’s good though. It’s making him smile dumbly at nothing. 

His phone lights up at him on the ground. He reaches for it with another wince. There’s….a massive amount of unopened texts. He grunts in annoyance and then...damnit...it kind of feels nice. That he’s got so many friends worried about him. 

Tifa: _Hey, you guys finish your last final?_

Aerith: _Yesssss, freedom. You done too?_

Jessie: _Hey, dumbass, party at our place tonight. Make sure you bring your puppy._

Biggs: _Jessie’s throwing a ‘finals are done’ banger, avoid the apartment._

Wedge: _Cloud, bro, you gotta come home, this is getting out of hand._

Tifa: _Hey, you okay? You haven’t answered anyone in hours._

Wedge: _please, bro, we need your icy glare. No one will leave!_

Tifa: _Cloud, just tell me you’re okay._

Tifa: _Cloud? This isn't funny. >:/ _

Aerith: _Uh, you’re probably just fucking around with Zack, huh? Can you pause all the sex for one second and just text Tifa back?_

Cloud flushes at that one. Aerith is deceptively innocent. He checks the time on his phone-6:30 am, before reading the last few from a few hours ago.

Jessie: _Okay, everything’s okay. It’s safe to come back whenever you’re done with your man-toy._

Tifa: _Sorry….you’re with Zack aren’t you?_

Tifa: _I just worry about you still._

Tifa: _He’s treating you nice?_

Tifa: _You deserve nice you know._

She must have been drunk. Tifa gets really sappy when she drinks.

Tifa: _I love you, you’re my dumb little brother._

Tifa: _Seriously though, if he hurts you it’s over for him._

Cloud sighs, he’s not smiling.

Nope.

He opens Tifa’s message thread.

Cloud: _Hey, I’m fine. I’m at Zack’s._

Cloud: _Sorry I didn’t answer you._

Cloud _….Don’t worry...he’s kind of the best._

Cloud: _Don’t tell anyone I said that._

And he gets kind of sappy in the morning. So he stops. Even though he should probably tell her she’s the best adjacent family he could have asked for too. 

Ugh. 

He puts his phone down on the mattress and stretches, pops his back and his shoulder. He’s really thirsty, his throat is dry from all the gasping and moaning last night. 

The cold rushes around his legs when he stands up, but Zack’s hoodie is nice and toasty. He doesn’t even make it two steps before Zack’s groaning groggily.

“Hey, where you goin’? It’s fucking freezing,” He’s rolling and shifts to the edge of the bed. Weakly reaching out to Cloud.

It’s not cute.

“I’m just getting some water,” Cloud says with a smile, rolls his eyes with no heat. 

Zack’s up and at his back in less than a second. Slipping his arms around him and shoving his hands under the hoodie. He presses his cheek against Cloud’s. Hunches down around him.

“Hey, you hoodie thief, you can’t take my human blanket _and_ my best sweater.”

Cloud huffs, fake tries to get out of Zack’s arms. 

“Nuh,” Zack’s tone turns husky, his hands wander a little lower, “You’re gonna have to keep me warm now.”

He’s yanking Cloud back down onto the bed and wrestles him under his body. Crushes him until Cloud’s laughing and stops squirming. 

Zack doesn’t let him up though. Kisses him and presses harder touches into his skin until he’s squirming for a different reason. A nice, _hot_ different reason. That leaves him boneless and panting. 

Zack’s sweet and gets his water for him after. 

He has to text Tifa way later that he’s staying at Zack’s for the night.

And probably the next night too. 

***

It’s mid-February and there’s still a light dusting of snow and frost all over the ground. Cloud’s fucking shivering nonstop. He should have worn his boots and not his thin, ripped up converse. 

At least he thought to pull a thick henley on under Zack’s navy hoodie. Probably shouldn’t be wearing his ripped knee summer jeans either. 

It’s dark already, at four in the afternoon, winter hours. He’s shuffled along next to Tifa and Aerith, trying to ignore Jessie shouting up ahead.

At least Wedge is with them this time.

It’s hard to get her hype under control without Biggs around and since he’s the one she’s getting all hyped for. Well..they need all the help they can get. Jessie gets way _way_ to into lacrosse.

Someone should have warned him, way back in September. But no, he had to find out the hard way at Zack’s first game last weekend. She nearly punched someone out in the stands. From their _own_ school. 

This game is on a bigger field, with bigger bleachers. The crowds are much bigger too. 

It’s fine though, Cloud likes to sit in the front row, so he can watch Zack weave in and out of plays closer. He’s still kind of off on the rules. But, he’s getting better. Would be easier if Jessie stopped interrupting herself mid-explanation to start screaming about foul play. 

All of it's worth it though. The freezing cold. The large crowds. The ringing in his ears from Jessie. 

Nothing gets his heart racing more than Zack yanking his helmet off at the end of the game. Meeting eyes with Cloud and fucking beaming the brightest summery-smile at him. Zeros all his focus in on Cloud, with his messy hair pulled up and strains sticking to his sweaty temple.

He looks so fucking gorgeous like that. Dirty and grass-stained uniform, gasping with adrenaline and flushed from excitement. Too much happiness, directed at Cloud.

Just cause he comes to see his games in his stupid lucky hoodie.

People back home tell Cloud, he’s lucky. 

Lucky he lived through that car accident.

Lucky he only lost a year.

Lucky that he had support and help in his recovery.

Lucky...that he only has a minimal amount of trauma. 

He still doesn’t agree. He still thinks it’s the worst luck. 

He does think he lucked out with one thing. 

He’s fucking beaming at him and pulling him in for a searing kiss in the middle of the lacrosse field. 

He’s lucky...that Zack found him.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this is gonna end up as a collection of one-shots. I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM COLLEGE AU'S  
> I blame Teen Wolf, that's all they are. 
> 
> Hang around, leave a comment, don't be shy! I'm way better at responding now. XD
> 
> See Ya in the Fall grads!


End file.
